Yeah so I was sitting at home the other day looking at my hubby and thought, I wonder what else is out there? (not really, but it makes for a good story line starter) So I decided to log on the net while my hubby was watching the Yanks on TV. With every curse word that came out of his mouth I felt more determined than ever. I thought that there had to be an easy way to find a man with out dating. So I thought "Mail order Husband"...it had to be the most perfect idea ever. I just spend a little cash (My current husbands money) and pick out the perfect man! If he pisses me off I can easily kick him out and get my money back! It sounded ideal. So I logged on and found that I could even chat to my new bo before I bought him. It wasn't easy but here is my perfect man ladies!!!
His profile reads the following:
Name: Earl
I deal in reality...and the reality is that I'm ready for love. I can chop lots of wood and can even climb a greased pole. I keep in shape by chasing chickens around my back yard. I keep my self clean and take baths weekly. Country: West Virginia, U.S.A.
Now the greased pole had me a little worried...after all what man admits to liking "greased poles?" But yet again, I can get my money back!!! He said he is in shape, and he chases chickens, just so happens I love chicken. Then he mentioned he had a back yard, my bachelor is a little older but he has land, so if he kicks it a little early, I atleast have an inheritence. He keeps clean by taking baths....I love a nice hot bubble bath, I may need to get a slightly larger one, but that is a small price to pay for the perfect man. I must admit my mind was full of ideas when my now hubby called out "Honey, your favorite show is on, I made you a bowl of ice cream, why don't you come up and sit next to me while I rub your feet!"
I took one last look Earl, and said good-bye, but I have paid tribute to Earl with a song & video at the bottom!
Disclaimer, yeah I totally made this shit up...I love my hubby, he is the perfect man!
4 comments:
Best part of the whole story is the disclaimer--funny stuff!
by the way, where did you get a picture of my dad?
kudos!
While a greased pole IS a bonus, I still say you could do better (although he DOES keep himself clean, once a week). So I guess it's your call.
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