A bad case of writer's block

For a couple days now I have been overwhelmed by on goings in my life. If I posted they would have been long rants about people that should remain nameless. Consumed by work, I have not been able to think of anything else. So I decided to post about what has been sooo consuming.
Plain and simple, my client is stupid. Maybe more than stupid. I do home loans and sometimes you go through a rough patch in the market. The people buying houses right now should kiss the earth and thank the lord they have a place to live, let alone own.
This guy has had to be the dumbest person I have ever tried to get own a home. He wanted the home badly, but no matter how hard I tried to get him to turn in his paperwork, it seemed to be to hard. He would return my calls every other day and there seemed to be one surprise after another. Then the jaw dropper, I was getting him into a government loan and found out that he hadn't filed taxes in YEARS!!! He had 1 day to get it done. I was surprised that it penetrated his brain that the deadline was Tuesday. He did say that after he realized I was going to kill him he learned a big lesson. I had to ask...."what was that?"
"Don't screw with the IRS or you could land in jail" ..Wow..being the manager of a bank I thought he would have known that!

The Hoff CREEPS me out

Updated 09/27
I don't normally get too caught up in celebrities, But David Hasselhoff really freaks me out. #1 Who was the dumb broad that though THIS guy, out of all the celebrities out there, was hot? He is and always has been a creepy old guy. Even on Bay Watch. He was a creep old guy...mmm k!

Yesterday there were reports that his young daughter made an attempt on taking her life. Some how the deets of her attempted suicide were made public. The Hoff reported that her mother is awful and she "cut" herself as a means to escape the stress of her parents divorce. Now today, turns out, the mother reported that the Hoff made all that crap up as a publicity ploy and a ploy to make her out to be a bad mother, when in fact their daughter had merely been scratched by their cat.
I don't care how nasty a divorce gets... keep your kids out of it people! That kinda crap makes me sick. That is when social services needs to get involved.
A little funny for you:
http://www.esquilax.com/baywatch/
This site is called David Hasselhoff is the Anti-Christ. It is really funny. It goes so far as to point out that the letters in David Hasselhoffs name spell "Fad of the Devils hash! Whatever that means, it's funny.
Quotes from the Hoff:
"I'm good-looking, and I make a lot of money."
"There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me."
"I'm six foot four, an all-American guy, and handsome and talented as well!"
"Before long, I'll have my own channel -- I'll be like Barney."

Exuse me while I throw up!

My conversation with Hubby..

Conversation begins with me :
"Hunny"
"uh huh"
" Do you remember when my last period was?"
long pause... "No, do you"
"No, I don't"
eerie silence for me.. unconfortable silence while sweating profusly for him.

Two days later I still had no answer, until I finally broke down and took a test at the request of my friend who is trying to get pregnant. There was only 1 pink line. For those of you out there that have never taken a test, it means not pregnant.
So the following conversation with hubby took place about an hour ago.
Me..."I'm not pregnant"
Him... "Are you mad at me?"

How sweet. But what could he be thinking that I would be mad at him. Afterall, we decided that the next pregnancy would be planned. If I was pregnant, it wouldn't be planned.
So why is it then, I really feel like crying.

They seriously have a website for that!!!

www.MyBitchyWife.com

If your woman frustrates you with her God-given ability, and just flat out makes no sense at times you're in the right spot! Share your stories of how they frustrate you, and your come-backs that can never be said!

Oh my goodness...I can't believe this site.

Men write in to bitch about their wives because they can't find their balls that have been handed to them on a platter and shoved down their throat by their...eh hem... bitchy wives.

I know that sometimes I can be a little wench, but at least my man has the sense enough to communicate his feelings with me. I truly think that, that is where many spousal problems come from..especially the male side of things. Men do not like to talk about their "feelings". Sometimes it makes them feel less manly... so what, does logging on this site make you feel special???

Listen to this advise this one guy gave:

Can the guys here go to their closets and find their balls!! Seriously!!! WTF!! Women need to be put in their place, the sooner you realize this the better. They will never admit it but be happier for it.

I would like to see any man TRY to put me in my place!!! What kind of reality are these fucktards living in? And by the way... logging online and having an open whine fest, doesn't help your cause any, are you sitting behind your computer with a bottle of wine and some Celine Deon playing in the background. Eh Hem!

Then there is a joke section to the site..

Examples

Rules Women Need to Know

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.

2. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Advice for Women

1. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.

2. Sunday = TV Sports.

My favorite

You Might Be a Women if you...

1. Whine

yeah uh... who's whining???

He said WHAT?

I guess you would have to meet my dad to understand my dad. He is a tall quirky looking man with a gigantic nose, graying hair, imperfect posture and a beer belly. You can tell what type of guy he is also by my Maryjane post( http://youknowwhaterksme.blogspot.com/2006/08/my-past-with-maryjane.html )

Dad was telling me that he had to take his new dog to the vet to get the ol' snip snip. I guess it was a lucky day for the rascal because when dad called the vet, the assistant informed him that he was no longer a welcome client. Astonished, he asked why. She replied that there was a mark in his previous file stating that he was cruel to animals and written in parenthesis mention "bullet".

My father couldn't help but laugh hysterically, which if you new his laugh, it's funny in itself, kinda like the Rocky & Bullwinkle Moose cartoon. What happened.... Well dad went in to put down a violent cat. He inquired about the cost of the procedure (did I mention he is broke poor) and the vet said like over $100. My dad scooped the cat up in his arms and I quote ...blurted out "F*** that... a bullet is cheaper". The vet ran screaming after my dad telling him he couldn't do such an inhume thing and as my dad pulled off he blurted out again. "Watch Me!"

3 years later, the Vet still remembers, and now Dad is stuck with a dog that humps the couch leg, his leg, the table leg..so on and so on.

An update on the mean cat...turns out Dad found a mean lady that wanted a mean cat and they lived happily ever after!

The other day I was sure that I was going to be work by myself..until I got a phone call... " I feel bad that you are all alone today so I have decided to come into the office"
For the first time I found myself saying "oh no...stay home" and got an " Oh no..I am coming in" I had to admit to the boss, that since no one was going to be there that day I took the liberty to dress down. I was in Sneakers, booty shorts and a Yankees sweatshirt. While the FedEx man got a kick out of it .. the boss thought..hmmm not so funny! Ever had an oops when dressing for work?

Some call me cheap...I say Frugal

All the time I was growing up ...I wanted to be just like the other kids and wear the name brand clothing. But my parents were penny pinchers. I had to shop all the sales, go to Marshalls and TJ Maxx to get last years name brands at discount prices. I used to think that my parents were so cheap. But my sister and I new how to get around it. We got to pick who we went shopping with, we knew dad would generally fork over a little more cash than mom. And what we couldn't afford in the days before security detectors, we applied the five finger discount. I used to be a pro at it. When we would come home our parents would be like "how did you get all that stuff?" ..Mom, Dad, you missed the biggest sales of the year!! And they would buy it. That all ended though, for me. I used to take dance classes. Before class my girlfriends and I would go to the local mart and load up on sugar. I had just gotten a new puppy and thought I would get him a treat, but had not enough money for my treat and his. So ..five finger discount..was a sure bet!!
In front of all my friends, I got caught shoplifting dog food! DOG FOOD! That was the last time I ever stole anything. Not to mention my last year as the cool kid in dance class.
Now that I am older, and wiser, I bargain shop. My in laws all think that I am cheap. They sop at Saks, Macy's and Lord & Taylor.. Hubby knows better though. He approves of my being frugal. Because I will wear discounted name brand fashions from last fall doesn't mean I am cheap, just financially conscience. I hit the outlet stores and stock up on a new wardrobe for my son. All my friends think that he is just the best dressed kid ever. But I know one day...the words cheap...will cross his mind. But I will be well prepared. He won't be getting that five finger discount by me...but I bet he will shop with his Dad more often.

Now that I look back, I wonder if my five finger discount has something to do with the awful prices today?

Technology in the home!!!

Even though I blog...and I have been a bit addicted to blogging lately, I do not pretend to be computer savy. Today, Hubby and I, after much debate, bought our first computer! It was like buying a car. It's like, do you get the full size luxury SUV, the modest 4 door sedan, or the compact economy car?
So the hunt was on for the perfect set up. We went to every store that sold computers and price shopped. Along the way we finally started to understand some of the computer garb...but today...I had to get the snotty kid that knows everything about computers and looks at me like I am a dumbass when he is talking...using big words like...Giga Hertz, Giga bytes, SDRam, Airport Extreme, XP...Kbps & Mbps...I had to stop the little guy mid-stream and tell him to enspeakensiEnglish.
Needless to say ...we got her done, by buying a beautiful Toshiba Satallite notebook withthe full media everything package and microsoft office junk..
I almost forgot to ask about the webcam...when I did..you should of seen the look on his face... I blurted out...no I'm not getting naked. Gosh is that all people use those things for!!!

Twisting Turning Round and Round!

This was one of the highlights of my vacation. I did one of these bungee rides in Daytona a couple years ago..the kid that did it with me pissed himself. It was a great rush. So to see it in Ocean City this year, I was syked to go again. This time hubby manned up and did the bungee rocket with me. But this time...we went at night. There is nothing like being shot up in the air by a bungee going a gazillion miles an hour, in the pitch black of night. You never know which way you are going....but one thing remains constant....the words "Oh Shit!" repetitively pour from your quivering lips! When the big ole hamster ball finally stops going towards the stars.. you flip around to see the little ants we call people staring up at you in awe and for a second you seem suspended until the little ants become larger as you plummet face forward towards a cold black asphalt surface. The smells of popcorn and cotton candy make you a little queasy and the sounds of terror coming from your mother watching below with your two year old in tow are enough to make you crap yourself. But ALAS, the fun is shortly over and your adrenaline is racing through your veins..then you hear the attendent say "wanna go again half price?" HELL YEAH LET'S GO!!...but to my dismay, hubby lost his balls somewhere between heaven and earth! He left the ride crying that his 28 year OLD heart just couldn't take it! Geesh...!

Today I remember September 11th, 2001.

Meet David Ralph Leistman

Meet David Ralph Leistmanm age 43. He has a warm and welcoming smile doesn't he. He seems to me that if I were to meet him in person, he would be a nice guy. He was a bond trader that lived in Garden City. David died on September 11th, 2001. I don't know much about him, but I know his name from the 2996 Tribute Blog( http://www.jamulian.com/db911/ ). I learned that he was also a highschool lacrosse coach and a girl named Sarah really misses him cheering her on the side line. She says in a comment, that sometimes, she knows he is still there, cheering her on.
David's son, Brian wrote to him on a memorial site:
Message: I love you dad you believed in me so much and if you were still here today you would be proud of what I have been able to do with my life.You cared about me so much and always wanted to do everything you could to help with sports as well as everyday life. Every time I step on the football field I think of you and how you would be of me. I will never forget you dad.
I can't help but cry when I think of David and the thousands of others that were senselessly murdered on September 11th.
I remember everything about that day. My mother in law came into my room screaming. I sat and watched in disbelief that a plane could have hit the trade center, when all of a sudden my disbelief turned to horror when another plane approached and then crashed. I feared for my family members in New York. Then PA and the Pentagon. I remember sitting outside watching planes being escorted into Washington by fighter Jets. I remember Air Force 1 flying the president to saftey. The entire day brings back the bottomless pitt of emotions many of us have tried to push down. As September 11th approaches, I ask you not to push them down, but instead remember and feel. If you have to cry, cry. Remember the victims of 911 and pray for their families left behind, Remember our troops that went to war for our honor and freedom, Remember my brother and his fellow troops who fought in Iraq and those that never made it home. Remember how short our lives can be, and how important our freedom is to this country. Remember how we as a nation were judged by others before we ever judge someone else again. We are One Nation Under God, and Under God United We Stand.
Peace to all,
Elnora

Where does the money go?

Where does the money go? I claim 3 dependants and still get raped when it comes to taxes and other deductions. Why do I pay social security anyway...that is really starting to get on my nerves. I have been working since I was 14 and I think they have 30k of social security for me so far. That's alot, and I really don't think I will see any of it. I had a beautiful paycheck coming to me..total deductions this month $983.26...sigh. With $30000 a year in a mortgage, $9100 a year in daycare, $6750 in electric, $4842 in grocery, $816 in cable, $1560 in student loans & $12378 in deductions on my paystub alone (Not hubby's...)totaling $65446 worth of money I will never see, you wonder how do people get by? And I am considered middle class... Break your payouts down and you will see what I am talking about it.