YOU KNOW WHAT ERKS ME

Thursday, August 24, 2006

My Past with MaryJane

I don't know why, but this keeps coming up in conversations, so I have to talk about my one of my Marageewanna experiences... Funny Story.
My house used to be the house all the neighborhood kids loved to hang at. My dad, Mr. Joe, was the cool dad, my dad smoked weed and all my friends knew it. One night, hangin out back with my friends chillin' after tokin up ...Mr. Joe jumps out from the house... "Whaaaat are ya'll doin back here?" Scared the BeeGeezies outta us. "nuthin' Mr. Joe", Mr Joe replies..."I'm just f'in with yaaa...hmmmm...**sniff sniff**" my dad has the biggest nose ever...he starts walking around wafting the air ..."are ya'll smokin back here... "Oh no Mr. Joe".. Mr. Joe heads over to my bud Mike..."Mike?" .."Yes sir.." "Let me see your hands Mike" .. "Oh okay I ain't got nuthin Mr. Joe" With that my dad grabs Mikes hands and begins to smell them with that big honker of his. "Hand it over, " he says.. " aww Mr. Joe..." "NOW!!!" Mike hands over our beautiful bag of canibus..the biggest bag we had ever bought... he starts to storm back into the house, but before he leaves..he turns to say "Next time... Ya'll Muther F***er's will learn how to share!" And with that the slamming of the door!
Okay...so you would think that was the end...no way. Mr. Joe had a habit of going for 8 o'clock walks at night. This was a new thing of his and I knew daddy wasn't trying to get his exersize. So I tell Mike "Mike, go follow him". Around 9 Mike comes back... eyes wide and bright with a smile from ear to ear. He was giggling so much that he could hardly talk. "Ellie, he's going to that house being remodeled.." my reply "and...what the f*** Mike..." .."Oh Ellie...your dad planted all dis weed man.. dude the back yard has plants 5 feet tall.. ha ha haha" With that I became evil "Mike...go cut them down"... Stunned he looks at me with fear, no longer smiling..."But that's Mr. Joe's weed.. I can't do that...you don't f*** with Mr. Joe's stash" my reply "Well then Mike.. maybe next time the Mother F***er will learn how to share"
Man that was a beautuful summer... maybe not for Mr. Joe, but for me and my friends.. shit what am I talkin bout.. I can't remember.. but I have pics to prove I was there!

Now while I don't smoke pot now...I do have some stories of "back in the day" I wonder if I will be totally honest when my son comes to be about drugs. Do you tell them the truth or sugar coat it, or completely deny it?
I wanna hear some stories folks... doesn't have to be about MaryJane..but any "old school" tales.
100 BE's for the best!

33 comments:

RWA said...

Wow, that's a tough situation. Tell kids the truth and use the old "do as I say, not as I do" - or lie?

That's a pretty funny story, though, about the plants behind the remodeled house!

I'm afraid I don't have any stories to share, though. I've never tried the stuff - or anything harder. Alcohol has always been more than enough.

Ellie said...

It can be a story about anything...even a good ol' alchy buzz!

Nicole said...

Well El, have never personally tried any thing harder then advil, so no stories about moi!

When my one aunt turned 50, my other aunt went through her daughter's boyfriend and got the first aunt a "skinny".
My aunt almost had a fricken stroke!!!! To this day...what happened to the skinny is still a family mystery LOL

I haven't been drunk drunk since I was 19. My friend Curtis got me drunk last Sat. night, we stopped in there at 12:30 am, after the football game. The kids stayed at my mom's, so it was all good.
Curtis was making me these drinks called Ki-ki beach...you use orange crush with the kiki and it tastes like a creamcicle. We stayed there until 5:00am, and he made me 5 of them...Ellie, I was DRUNK...I didn't get sick, but I got home and decided to take 2 tylenols with a LARGE glass of water. Dropped a ty on the floor and it took me 10 times to pick it up. The cat meowed EVERY FRICKEN time I put my head down there...so I started yelling...BlackJacks...you drunken cat...get to AA....my husband tol me I need help. I never got to bed until 6:00 am, but was up at 9:00am...and ALL was good!

Nicole said...

I think "Leaf" called us immature LOL

RWA said...

Well, if you want to hear a good buzz story...

Several years ago, I'm at a work convention. They have these big receptions every night - with open bars.

Needless to say, I have had more than my share. They have karaoke at the party, but people are singing Elton John, Billy Joel and other "soft" stuff. I get up there and sing a Guns 'n' Roses tune.

Later on, they're raising money for some charity - and my drunk self is going around to complete strangers, "telling" them to quit being cheap and cough up some cash.

I found out when we got home that the president of the national organization saw me during the evening, and asked my boss, "Who the hell is that guy?"

Needless to say, my boss did not confess that I was in any way associated with him.

How I kept my job, I'll never know.

Ellie said...

okay Nic...what's a "skinny" ...a cig?

Ellie said...

Nothing quite like drunk karaoke!!

In college, we once dressed up like it was Prom Night again and went karaoking...it was fun until I caught the guy I was with making out with the not so skinny chick! ...maybe he didn't like my singing!

Nicole said...

From what I remember as this happened 6 years ago, I think a "skinny" is a very mild, small "weed" cig....
anyone else out there more knowledgable???!!

Ellie said...

ah ha...I call that a joint!

Sara said...

HAHA that was a good one, I got a few but can't type straight right now the little monsters are yelling at me... bbl

RWA said...

That can't be good when your date is making out with "the not so skinny chick," I would guess!!!!

Nicole said...

RWA...I think you fit in with us!!!
I love to sing karaoke even when I am sober...infact, I put CDs on in the backyard and serenade all the guests of Nic's backyard all the time...my husband blames the coyotes that come around on THAT!LOL
My favourite is Johnny Cash's the Ring of Fire...I sing my own words too hehe
I love to sing G&R's too!!
all good old 80's and 90's metals bands are good!!!

Ellie said...

I used to be famous at Lasiks, karaeoke bar, until it mysteriously burned down!

Ellie said...

I used to be famous at Lasiks, karaeoke bar, until it mysteriously burned down!

Nicole said...

maybe one of your joints did it...

OR, maybe one of Mister Joes...LOL

Ellie said...

or maybe the "not so skinny" chick farted!

Dwayne said...

I call a skinny a pinner. When I was in 6th grade some "friends" found a beer in a case in the dumpster on the playground. I don't remember what they thought they were looking for but we wiped it off and passed it around once or twice. About a month later some teachers were asking questions, kids got nervous, started spilling their guts. The other kids got sent home but my Dad made my punishment so severe, I waited until I was at least 18 or 19. Didn't smoke until a year or so later and didn't start smoking cigarettes until about a year after that. Talk about back-asswords!

That was a really funny story. So funny, I'll definately be back. Are we supposed to believe you don't take a hit once in awhile?

RWA said...

Well, thanks, Nicole. I typically have to be drinking (usually for a while) before I get the nerve to sing at the bar.

But, a friend and I who go somewhat regularly enjoy singing "Patience" by Guns 'n' Roses and some different country stuff.

Then, there was this one time, a woman convinced me to sing "The Pussycat Song." I was drunk, so I did. Unfortunately, now, this same woman (who is to this bar as Norm was to Cheers) asks me to sing it every time I come in there.

I need to just get the DJ to make a CD of it and give it to her.

jane said...

hahahaha OMG I bet your dad was PISSED off!!
We stripped a friends plants before, but it was just 2 small ones & they'd told us to get some leaves so we could smoke it. We didn't know you didn't just pull all the leaves off the whole thing.

Sounds like your dad was hilarious.

Dick Small said...

When I was 17, a friend turned me on to a joint for the first time. We were upstairs in his bedroom which had it's own bath. Me, him, and his brother tokin' up while his mom in the bedroom below was watching "Gone With The Wind", totally unaware of what was happening just above her, not knowing that the 3 of us were hanging out his upstairs bathroom window stoned out of our minds. Man, I miss those days...

e.Craig said...

I rolled my last doobie about 20 years ago, but I still remember the first time I got high. It was my second joint. The first one a couple days earlier didn’t phase me. My twin brother had been encouraging me to try it for weeks. I thought he had gone off the deep end. I was in my mid 30s and had never done anything stronger than alcohol.

I finally became curious and scored a nickel bag from my brother-in-law’s nephew. I showed up at my brother’s house a couple nights after my first try, but he wasn’t home. My sister-in-law listened to my explanation that I was hoping to get my first high with someone who had already experienced it. Now, she didn’t touch the stuff, but told me I could go ahead and smoke it if I wanted to. So, I rolled one, (if you want to call a novice’s attempt ‘rolling’) and lit it up.

After several hits, nothing. Well, I’d heard that some people didn’t get high on pot, and wondered if that would be me. Then it hit me! I was scared sh**less, almost had a panic attack. Swore that was the end of it, Never again! But, after a short time, I mellowed out. Oh my! How could something this good be illegal? Maybe they should outlaw sex, too.

I’m sure there are some stories to tell, those many years I smoked all that good boo, but I can’t remember.

Ellie said...

What's new pussy cat? WOOAA WOOAA WOOAA WO WOOAA!
I love your pussycat lips WOOAA WOOAA WOOAA WO WOOAA!

I would love to see that!

Ellie said...

Dwayne..funny you should ask...
The last time I took a hit, was a month after my wedding. A friend gave us pot as a wedding gift. There we were, in our new house... "OUR" house, hiding in the basement bathroom with the door locked as if our parents would walk in and catch us!
Later my parents came to visit..and I asked hubby..where is the pipe???? "Oh I hid in the ceiling so no one would find it"

IT WAS OUR HOUSE>>WHO WAS GONNA FIND IT... haven't smoked up since. I was pregnant a month later. Too much at stake now to get caught with drugs.

RWA said...

I'm afraid that's not the song, Ellie.

Here's a link to the lyrics...

http://www.wowlyrics.com/read.php?wow=1698196

RWA said...

e. Craig, please don't be throwing the idea of making sex illegal out there.

Nicole said...

RWA...I love to sing Sweet Child O mine and Welcome to the jungle, but I change some of the words { from where the girls are pretty...to the men are sexy}, because I am all about the men!!! LOL

Ps..El.. My fricken email went down yesterday, so this morning when it all worked, I found your emails, I wasn't ignoring you!!!
I am happy that that woman understands now, and we can move on! GOOD GRIEF CHARLIE BROWN!!!! LOL

Nicole said...

RWA...it's not the other pussy song is it...???
Hey.....we want some.....how does it go again?

Ellie said...

For everyone out there...here are the lyrics to the pussycat song RWA was referring to...um I thought he was talking about the Tom Jones song!

Hey RWA...this would be fun to sing with a doobie in hand!
My pussy cat was scratching out on my back door
Scratched so long poor pussy got sore
Sore pussy..ooohhhh
Sore..pussy ooohhh
Just a friendly little cat

My pussy cat was sittin on the front step
Sat so long poor pussy got wet
Wet pussy...ohhhhh
Sore, wet..pussy
Just a friendly little cat

My pussy cat was playing out on the back lot
Played so long poor pussy got hot
Hot pussy..ohhhh
Sore, wet, hot...pussy..
Just a friendly little cat

My pussy cat was rocking in the rocking chair
Rocked so long he lost his hair
Bald pussy...ohhh
Sore, wet, hot, bald...pussy
Just a friendly little cat

My neighbor and I out at the clothes line
I said to my neighbor won't you look at mine
My pussy..oohhhhhh
Sore, wet, hot, bald pussy
Just a friendly little cat

My neighbor stole my kitty
But I did see
I said to my neighbor set my pussy free
Free pussy
Sore, wet, hot, bad free pussy
Just a friendly little cat
Here kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty.

RWA said...

Yeah, that's the song. It's by Connie Vannett.

Nicole, I love Guns 'n' Roses, but I can't hit the high notes that Axl Rose does. That's why we usually stick to "Patience."

Nicole said...

RWA..I don't care what I sound like...I'm just all about fun and the Good Times!!!

Dwayne said...

That song was in the movie A Dirty Shame. Love the song and love the movie. Good shit!

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