Thursday, April 27, 2006

You know what erks me.......Aw Naw Nothin!!!

Win this caption contest!!
Naw, nothing about this erks me... I just have to congratulate my brother in law on the first fish ever caught on his new boat! But nevermind the itsy bitsy teenie weeie fish for a moment... Let's look at my bro...we'll call him Bobballina (it really is a term of endearment) The expression on his face is priceless! So let's make a new "priceless" commercial off this!
Life Jacket $25.00
New Boat $5000.00
Catching you first anorexic fish on new boat and having it posted to a blog where hundreds can see....
Ya know I love ya Bobby!
Comments Please
If you have a better Caption...25 BE points to you and a special blog posting for you!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

You know what erks fat!!!

I hate to toot my own horn, but I used to be hot... Before child birth. I am working on it though. But what the F*** is my problem? I tried the diet thing then fell off the wagon after seeing no results! I even went to a work out class once, but I felt like I needed to sponsor half the women in there at McDonalds or something. I wanted to have a t-shirt made that said "feed her" with and arrow -> . I had to quit that b/c I have never been the fat girl in class and I wasn't going to start now! So my hubby goes out and buys me an Elliptical. It's nice too...It has a fan and all these different programs and he propped it in front of the TV. But lets get hubby didn't go buy me time. I use to wait tables and bartend all day, walk miles on campus everyday and grabbed din din at the night club. Now I sit behind a desk and have barely enough time to shower b/c life gets in the way. So I go into the dreaded elliptical room and stare at the mean machine. I step up to the plate...turn it out for a minute and the baby starts crying. Take care of that. Go back and work out for a minute....damn this is just too much work! This thing is evil I tell ya. No wonder they came up with ways to suck the fat outta ya. It is so much less time consuming. But I will be honest with you...I have an aunt in Cali that really needs to cut with the plastic...she is starting to get a beard from all the face lifting (use your imagination)
So I wonder how do these other women do it?? I have a friend from college who weighs less now that before the baby. SAY WHAT?
At least I have the pictures to prove that I once was the shit. How else would I have snagged such a handsome man and had such a beautiful son!
Please comment on what erks you.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

You know what ERKS me...Bathroom Phones!

Not the fact that some people have phones in their bathrooms...which is just gross. (cuz seriously how often are they cleaned)
But the fact that people like to bring their cell phones into the public restroom. Never mind that the person on the other end is trying to figure out what you are saying threw all the "whoosh's" of the several toilets, but what about me? I am an innocent victim of this awful new phenomenon, a bystander! What did I ever do to you? I very rarely use the public bathroom for the #2 (which for all you men out there, women go #2 too!) But sometimes ya gotta do whatcha gotta do! So I am sitting there in one of those private moments when I hear "What are you doing" (who me?) then I hear "oh, me, nothing! Just out to dinner" ummm well YOU may not be doing something, but I AM!!! Just shut up PLEEEEZZE! Gosh so rude. Well I now have the perfect solution. The next time you are in the bathroom and some wonderful person has blessed you with their presence and the presence of the person on the phone, even if you aren't going #2....MOAN, very loudly, GROAN, very loudly, then BREATH HEAVY, very loudly. As if it were taking all your energy to drop a mother load. Then you'll hear " No I am not! It's the TV!!! Fine I will call you back later!"
Comment What erks you about people on cell phones, or anything else!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

You know what erks me....Parents & Sex!

Since when was is okay to talk to your kids about your sex life? I guess they figure your married and have kids so you know what the fuss is all about....right? But when did they have the revelation that it no longer grossed you out?
Point of the story...I have had a couple conversations with my mother about the dirty "S" word when it comes to parents. At first it was a little
un-comfortable but then it was like talking to a girlfriend....then the boundries were crossed. My father and mother were on the phone with me one evening and my father yells out "By the way, Thank You!!!" about what I wondered until my loving mother said she "shared" my words of wisdom. He joked saying he would call me himself the next time. Yes, I threw up!
Then this evening, dad proceeds to tell me how the cat ate my mother's diamond earring off her ear. My Husband did the cat do that. Quote my father " When mom gets out of the shower, she likes the cat to lick her off! What I don't understand is why she lets the cat sit all over her and cover her with fur right after she takes a shower!" Dad You have problems if that is ALL you are worried about. (wink wink)
Yes his words were slightly mis-spoken, however, the laugh my mother let out and my husband was none the less....well...the thought again, please pass me my barf bag!
Any comments about Parents & Sex, please share or anything else that erks you!

Friday, April 21, 2006

You know what erks me.....Married Pillow Talk!!!

Okay so some women out there might know what I am talking about. You have spent the last couple of weeks fixing every thing that has broken. Gone through toting your kid here and there, hosted Easter dinner, cleaned the house, walked the dogs. Now all you want is a little lovin'. You and your hubby finally get to snuggle, then you realize, you got one dog on the floor to the right, one dog on the floor to the left, and of course your little dog Daisy on the bed in the middle. Time for a little kissy kissy. I am not going to go into the adult details, I am sure all can figure it out. But then I realize (yes me I am talking about, me) as I am walking back to snuggle with my burly man I start talking about how "Daisy" leaves us her little gifts around the house and what are we going to do about it? (Reference previous blog) Then we start talking about cleaning out his mother's garage and getting the oil changed on the car. Blah Blah Blah the list goes on. I turn over and start remembering the days of youth and little to no resposibilities. WAIT A SECOND...Since when did pillow talk become sooo...sooo...boring???? When do I get that pillow talk in??? I'll tell you when...when Hubby comes home from work pats me on my butt, whispers in my ear little dirties, while I am over a pot of boiling water cooking and my kid is knee deep in a dirty diaper and the dogs are at the door crying to be walked. That is when the gooood pillow talk comes in....when you hope that later on you can get a little freaky deaky in the bedroom. So I lay there last night wondering.....What happened? And I haven't been married 2 yrs yet!

Post a comment about pillow talk or anything else that erks you!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

You know what erks me.....potty training!

You would think that I was talking about my child right? No....Daisy, our new dog. She is kinda new, but not new, she was a gift from my hubby to me and my son for Valentine's Day. Our cute little mini pin, that makes her...let me count....21 weeks old. We have had her for 11 weeks. You would think that she would be potty trained by now. Oh No! She wakes up every night around 1:30 and you better hope your not in a deep sleep cuz she will pee on the carpet if your not quick enough to catch her before she jumps off the bed. So you walk her at 1:30am then 5:30 am, you would think she was okay at 7 am when you get out of bed....maybe she thinks she is leaving me a morning gift. We just moved into a new house and I have had to throw out my dining room rug. That was her special dookie place. We thought she wasn't peeing there but I walked in ther for Easter and noticed a distinct odor. The rug was yellow so I guess we just didn't notice the yellow stains. Then last night I go down stairs to get some food from the freezer. The other two male dogs we have were down there the night before. I guess they thought they would leave me gifts too! I love my pups soooooo much, but sometimes...."Boy I otta...grrrr!"
I would love to hear your comments about potty training or anything else that erks you!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

You know what irks me....computers!!!

"Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable....Or I will make a giant binkie for your mouth!!!!"
Trying to figure out how to change the links on the template page of this site. I know this is a free site, however, for the computer un-savvy....they could make it a little easier. It's like my computer hates me!
My computer doesn't have sound, (Because I am at work) so it makes an tiny clicking noise when it doesn't want to do what I tell it too. So now I just absolutely love it when I get pop-ups telling me there is an error. It's like my computer is a scientologist giving a silent birth to a pop-up baby. I can yell at is all I want too ....but it doesn't help. :(
Post a comment on what irks you about computers or anything else!

You know what erks me...parking!

Doesn't it erk you when people are so protective over their parking spaces?
I mean you get in line at the gas station and wait patiently for the person in front of you to finish. They get done pumping their gas then go inside for a candy bar and some ciggies and maybe a coke. Then they come back outside, see you still waiting patiently. Get in their car and before moving they have to take a sip of the coke, eat half the candy bar and light their cigarette!!! Meanwhile they also look in their rearview mirror to see if you are still there ....patiently waiting.
Why are people so protective of where they park. Where did the "your just going to have to wait" attitude come from?

Leave a comment about what irks you with other drivers or parking...or anything else!