Friday, November 28, 2008

The Worst Christmas gift I ever recieved...

This black friday was a mad house. I didn't get the deals I had hoped, but overall, I got some goodies. Talking about black Friday with my in-laws over dinner made me ask..What was the worst Christmas gift you ever recieved. Needless to say, I took the cake.
I can remember it like it was yesterday....
The box was really light. After 4 years of being together I really thought "this could be it". I should have listened to the warning..."remember...before you open it.. I didn't have a lot of money this year".

So was that a prelude to a 'ha ha.. I got you didn't I?" or a prelude to a " no seriously, I'm broke"

It was more than just an 'I'm broke' kinda thing... Sometimes I wonder if it was a re-gift kind of thing. Sometimes, I really wish it had been. But for some reason, my boyfriend of 4 years thought it would be nice to get his girlfriend....this........

A Beavis and Butthead t-shirt.

You would think that 4 years would have been enough at that point, but no. I stuck around for 4 more and got dumped while folding his laundry in my underwear. . But if that didn't happen I wouldn't have experienced the best Christmas gifts ever...

Best Christmas gift I ever got...there are 3
First Christmas as a married couple with my husband Michael
First Christmas with my husband Michael and brand new baby boy, Tyler.
First Christmas with my husband Michael, son Tyler, and my baby girl, Emma.

A family... the best gift ever, and I get to open it every morning when I open my eyes. Imagine that.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thanksgiving funny

The Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly open the door to the freezer, the parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"


Saturday, November 22, 2008

SO remind me again...where do I live?

so like yeah... remember the post about the sweet innocent deer that get hit by cars and someone goes and steals the antlers off of them...remember how sad that made me...

well up the street there is a deer that got hit by a car....tragic, I know....but um..yeah's now missing a head.


Friday, November 14, 2008

Deer Meat


A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat
It is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they
Begged their dad for the clue.
Well, he said, 'It's what mummy calls me sometimes'.

The little girl screams to her brother

'Drop it! Don't eat it... it's an asshole..!!!"

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


The National Enquirer is now reporting that Cindy McCain has been caught cheating on John McCain. They even have pics of a woman that much resembles her in a grainy photo swapping the spit with someone that wasn't John.

John's camp has not issued a statement yet.

My thoughts... Come on now folks, John can't even lift his arms, I wouldn't be surprised if he 'weren't no Maverick' in the bedroom. I think John lets Cindy out to play every once in awhile....who knows, maybe he watches from the closet.

Personally, I think the hair is too long to be her. But she does dress like that (turtleneck) and look at the hair...hmmm.

not my thing I guess

The other day, I almost hit a deer head on. I very rarily see deer in the morning driving to work. Then I noticed a 5 pnt. buck was lying dead on the side of the road, right where the doe came from. I thought to myself that maybe it just happened and she was with him.

So Sad. Such a beautiful animal died by someone's car. It just makes me sad.

Then this morning, I drive by the same spot, and the buck was there again, missing his antlers.

My chain of thought was "How gross, someone desecrated this beautiful animal on the side of the road as if dying wasn't bad enough. They had to take his antlers, and for what? To hang them up or put on a desk.

I don't get hunting beautiful animals only to skin them or stuff them. What is the point. These beautiful creatures lost their lives to decorate someone's house.

I just don't get that. If you think they are so pretty...why kill them? I am not just talking about deer, but bears, racoons, fox, moose, rabbits, and whatever else..

funny for the day.

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asks about his bill and the barber replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist is pleased and leaves the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that...illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Something for the Democrats

Since I posted for the Republican's this morning...a little humor for the other side.

An Israeli doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'

A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

A Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks..'

The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of Texas , put him in the White House for eight years, and now half the country is looking for work !!!

Recieved this email today

It was actually sent out by the CFO of this company...
I am not posting the name b/c I don't want the guy to get in trouble...

but ha ha ha....

Fellow Business Executives:

As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our next President, and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8 Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them. If you have a better idea, let me know.

Sincerely, Aaron *******

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Proposition H8TE
So let's explore this a bit.
What is Proposition 8?
Proposition 8 is an initiative state constitutional amendment on the 2008 California General Election ballot, titled Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry. If passed, the proposition would "change the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California."A new section would be added stating "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."
The measure was originally submitted for the ballot by petitioners with the title "California Marriage Protection Act."The title and summary were revised by
Attorney General Jerry Brown to more "accurately reflect the measure."The Superior Court of California ruled in favor of these changes, stating, "The title and summary is not false or misleading because it states that Proposition 8 would 'eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry' in California. The California Supreme Court unequivocally held that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry under the California Constitution."
So I became a little heated this morning talking about it to the mother in law. Let's call her the MIL. She said that it was passed b/c the majority of this country believes that marriage is for man and woman only and is fundamentally christian. I said that was bullshit! If that was the case then why is abortion legal? the MIL said, well your talking about life...
I said then Proposition 8 should not have passed, because we are talking about life.
Who the fuck cares if Adam loves Adam? or Eve loves Eve? MIL replied that they can still live as a couple if they want. 'YES MIL...BUT... they are not granted the same rights as a married couple, they don't have rights of survivor ship, they don't get to share medical insurance, adopt, medical decisions for a dying spouse, ...can you not see the difference?"
She shrugs...
My reply... You are just too damn Catholic for me I suppose... "Oh Elnora your just passionate about it b/c your brother is gay!"
No, that is where you are wrong.. And America.. not everyone that feels the same way as me, has a family member or a friend that is Gay. You are talking about basic human rights, equality.
Barack Obama, please live up to your promise!


Wow America....stamp me impressed. Barack Obama won the presidency vote by almost two and a half times...(electorial that is). Does this mean that "change" is on the horizon? What does this do for racism in our country...can people finally put differences aside and come together as One Nation Under God? That sure is a nice thought. I woke up this morning and even though it's raining, I had a little more pep in my step. I saw people buying newspapers with Obama's face filling up the front page. I saw people smiling. Maybe even the mere fact that America has made history electing the first Black U.S. President, has given us a lift?

I know it's about time.

BUT...there is a BUT... I am very disappointed that California probably passed proposition 8. While we made leaps and bounds moving forward, it looks like California took leaps and bounds backward.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Got my Sticker!!! Then went to Starbucks

Got my sticker, Got my coffee!
Starbucks was giving free coffee if you said you voted today.

What I didn't bargain for was the girl behind the register trying to figure out who I voted for. Isn't it etiquitte not to ask that?

It was annoying b/c that is what she was doing to every customer...
"you look like a McCain girl to me" and she squinted trying to figure out who I voted for as if she were reading my mind. I was a bit annoyed and looked back and said, "Actually didn't know who I was voting for till I voted, but I will keep that to myself." and walked away.

It's the first time I was actually protective of my privacy concerning voting.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Are you ready...

Tomorrow...time to vote people!!!!

You vote don't waste that shit!

how does that happen?

My friend's grandmother was taken to the hospital ( Anne Arundel Medical Center) this weekend for a broken arm.

Just a broken arm.

They were supposed to give her pain medication, they gave her the wrong pills, she went into cardiac arrest and died. They realized their mistake so despite the DNR order, they resuscitated her, only to have to place her on life support.

My friend's mother, after being notified that the hospital basically really fucked up, had to respect the wishes of her mother and made the decision to remove the life support, and she died again.

A broken arm people.