YOU KNOW WHAT ERKS ME

Thursday, November 19, 2009


From LYRICSMODE.COM lyrics archive
Lyrics | Coldplay lyrics - The Scientist lyrics

Monday, November 02, 2009


I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Obama says no to fox

Wow...
censoring the news outlets now. Obama has it in good with Oprah, but fox news....let's just say that Presidents can throw temper tantrums too.

Fox news, according to Obama, is a Republican outlet, fighting only for the republican agenda...I don't give a shit if they were. Mr. Obama, we have a thing called freedom of speech in this country, please tell me you know your amendments to that little thing called a Constitution.

I guess Obama's rating is so far in the shitter, he thinks by putting fox in the dunce corner, he can make some headway. It doesn't work that way.

The one thing I can say about reporters, they truly believe in their freedom of speech. It was nice to see the stations rally together.
Obama's misguided Fox hunt

Friday, October 23, 2009

I am still here.

Despite popular belief. I am still alive.
New job..more work.. so I don't get to enter the blogspere as much as I would like.

Life is okay right now. Not easy, but okay.

Had to cut a part of my life out, which was like cutting out a piece of my heart. People say it's for the best and I did the right thing...but I don't feel like it.

Two beautiful children in my life (not mine), who knows when I will get to see them again. It wouldn't be so bad if I knew for sure they were safe. Now, I have no communication line, so I can't even peek in and see for myself.

Bad people are like a disease...they feed off of you then move on to another host leaving behind a shell of what once was. I am just so sad.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Scooter Girl


Saw this girl on her scooter today going to school. While I agree that it is great to save gas driving a scooter instead of a car, I had this picture of all 90lbs of her books accidently sliding causing her bookbag to fall off the scooter, in which she would then fall right off that gas saving scooter and smacking her face onto the cold pavement! I certainly do not miss lugging that load around! It's dangerous!

I think that schools should have mini series books. Think about how heavy that is on the back of a child. It's ridiculous!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Kennedy Dies

So yeah,
Yesterday I was reading an article...Kennedy should resign his seat...

yeah I thought, I am sick of these old fogies keeping their seats until they croke and then all shiznitz hits the fan and the seat is empty....

Woke up this morning...

Dang, Kennedy died.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Free Nationalized Healthcare

Do I want it?

I don't know.

I think healthcare reform is the answer, not free health care to the country.

I think of it this way. Michael and I had Tyler, a wonderful gift from God, but a surprise. We weren't prepared. We weren't prepared for $195 a week in childcare and the $550 a month for family health care. Yes, we made good money, but good money wasn't enough for us, but too much for the system to help us out.
We got by, but there are others that don't.

Now our healthcare has climbed around $600, and daycare around $1900 a month. The mortgage is high, going higher, and the everyday bills pile up.
Some relief would be nice. $600 in healthcare $60 in dental and $60 in vision. So $720 a month just for health.
Then we have a deductible of $2300 per person $5000 max in the house.

What are the high premiums for then... so we can choose our doctor. So we can choose the specialist our child sees, so we have the freedom of a second opinion or third if we choose.

Healthcare reform. Lower premiums and the freedom to choose.
Obama's plan is not offering both.

I wish my canadian folks were here to tell me how it works there.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I just love this photo


Doesn't Michele look ravishing in yellow!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Best Picture I have see ALL year!


Is that a stimulus package Mr. Obama
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2009/07/when-in-rome.html unfortunatley Obama wasn't checking that 16 year old out...that would have been too much... ABC got the footage.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

totally felt this way about a boy before



Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones
it gets nasty in the end ya'll...worth a listen

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Just need to ask...

Are Obama & Biden in the same administration?
or on the same page?
or same political party?
or the same planet even?

just asking.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

NOW IT'S OFFICIAL! After spending $950,000 on attorneys to fend off releasing ANYTHING to prove he is a citizen of USA

Obama recently released his Hawaii birth certificate ......and I hope, once and for all the matter will be dropped and I will not have five or six emails each day from all you ultra-right-wingers with a different conspiracy angle... He was elected as our President and we need to get over the fact we lost...!! So please stop stirring up things and trying to discredit him with all these stupid and groundless rumors.....
Attached is a copy of his birth certificate and I hope this will put the matter to rest once and for all!

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Worst credit rating in the world????

you thought I would be talking about America...but nope although I am sure we come in close second or third, California folks!!!

Unable to come up with the cash to pay back creditor's and tax payers, the terminator has terminated funding...(temporarily)

People won't get their state refunds, instead they will get a peice of paper, no doubt written in red crayon that will say I.O.U.

Thank goodness that the educational system is protected by the California constitution, because we all know how politicians think, they would stream the money into the prizons to make sure they get food and fair treatment. As of right now, Arnold can't pay the businesses that stream food into local prisons, hospitals and state run old fogie homes. So in short that means, Early release for pedifiles, if your sick, you die, if your disabled, the good ol crutches come back, and old people...well...good luck getting a clean diaty.

Listen, I have family in Cali, so I am not trying to belittle the situation. It is a very grave and dire thing going on over there. This kind of money short fall hasn't been seen since the Great Depression. People are going to start leaving Cali. (Although I have been wanting my family to leave for years...I heard it's going to break off ya'll) But Arnold needs to make up his damn mind!!! He was quoted saying "It's time for the legislature to send me a budget that solves our entire deficit with out raising taxes". Arnold babe...why aren't you in there with your sleeves rolled up? OBAMA??? Where are you in all this?

California, historically, is a leader in the United States. Meaning, after it happens in California, other states normally follow pursuit, and not just in trend setting.

California needs help. Imagine what we could do if we all donated a dollar?

Monday, June 29, 2009

Baracky Road...new flavor

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor:
"Barocky Road."
Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow. The cost is $100.00 per scoop. When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.
You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.

Are you stimulated?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Good bye

Ed McMahon passed away today.
Sad.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

America WTF

Chastity Bono ..
I am not sure what to make of it...but, has decided to undergo a sex change operation, just to legally marry her long time partner.

Is this how it has to be America? Someone has to permanantly change their body and undergo life altering surgery, just to be considered equal?

I am seriously on the verge of tears.

Even if she lives as a man, wants to be a man with man parts...she still said it was the only way she could legally marry. So seriously, even if that isn't the only reason, it is still one of her reasons.

Friday, June 19, 2009

God I love where I live

One of our County Commissioners posted this photo of a northern part of Frederick.

Too bad an Incinerator might change all this.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

Set her up for disappointment

This is the best idea ever!
So you are going to 'do it' for the first time with your chick.

I heard the best idea this morning.... set her up for disappointment...
tell her...
"Girl, I am about to lay two inches on you"...or something to make her think,
"Damn this is going to be awful" then when its all over, she will think..actually that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be."

If you set her up for 10 inches and 5 hours of fun and not deliver, then you fail for the first time...
And if you have two inches...
.
.
.
.
.
I'm sorry dude.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I love this guy!



What was Biden's goal when he accepted the VP spot? Videos like these make you wonder!

I am here...

just not much to write about.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Guantánamo Bay

Guantánamo Bay, ask me if I care...I will say, who cares about water boarding...it couldn't of been that bad, if it was done right, no one would be talking about it, would they? I guess this is one of my more liberal views.

You know, you have terrorists...kill thousands of Americans and plot to kill thousands more. They test their bio chemicals on their own people, put guns in the hands of children and strap bombs on marter women, all in the name of what??? God???

I don't think that's God.

Yeah I hear all of you who say "Be merciful" but do you think if the tables were turned, all you would get is a little water in the face. Think again, and Heaven help you if you have a vagina.

I do recall several instances where if Americans were captured, you would find them eventually, missing their heads, but hey...atleast it wasn't water boarding.
Like I said, one of my more liberal views.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A nice sit down dinner.....not

Geesh America...what have we become?
I am sitting in a nice restraunt with my family, we are having good conversation, playing with the kids....and then BEEP!
BEEP BEEP!

Someone's two way on their nextel went off. again, and again, and again.

Then I heard something like the 'fake punch' sound, "great" I thought, "some kid is playing their nintendo." I was wrong..it was the kids father.

So we had BEEP BEEP...Wapoosh Wapoosh... over and over, then Ring Ring...

We were getting ticked off. It was pretty sad in a comical kind of way. You can't sit down and have a nice dinner with your family with out all that nonsense...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Okay now...
Anyone that knows me will tell you, I love pigs. Always have, always will.

This thing in Egypt has gotten me all kinds of upset.
400,000 pigs being slaughtered over a fear, not a real threat, but a fear.

Not only are people in Egypt going to lose their livelyhoods, but 400,000 pigs are going to be murdered. 400,000.

It makes me cry.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

month of memories April 29th

I thought to myself...

"I loved this dress when I saw it" I felt so pretty when I tried it on, and boy did my eyes light up when he bought it for me.
I sure did look like a mommy to be, happy and light.

But not today, My favorite holiday. I had my Easter dress, my Easter Bonnet, all ready for church with no husband to walk me through the door. The hot streaks of my tears ran my make-up.
I didn't think that this was how it was going to be. Sure the baby was a surprise, but I was happy. Plans change, I wasn't going to grad school either.

"not today," I thought, "I am supposed to be pretty today, and happy"
I heard a car door shut and I ran to the window.

He came. All the way to my mothers, he drove down and here he was, dressed in a Sunday suit, holding a big Easter Basket. Althought I was hurting, my heart fluttered a bit. It was going to be okay.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

April 28th. month of memories

the music pulsed through my body and the alchohal ran through my viens.
God he was so hot, and such a great dancer! I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe my first night out and already THIS!

As we left the club, the breeze on my skin felt like silk. He ran his fingers through my hair and smiled. I couldn't help but feel butterflies. He was so good looking and a Navy man at that!
He leaned in for a kiss. It felt like my first kiss all over. I hadn't kissed anyone but J. for 8 years. I didn't know how to lean in or how he liked to be kissed, only how J liked to kiss. And it happened, it was good, it was sweet.

He asked if he could call me, of course he could call me. He was the kinda guy you brought home to mom and dad.
As I drove away, I prayed... God call me, please call me. I hope he calls me.

He called.

Monday, April 20, 2009

in honor of 420..its a month of memoris 4/20 style

It was late. Smoke filled the car.
I couldn't beleive I was here, but then again, I couldn't believe much of the nights happenings. Although it wasn't night anymore, "what time is it?" I realized I was thinking my thought aloud. Everyone started to laugh.

As my friend passed me the joint he said... "dude, look at the clock, it's 4:20"

I could barely see the clock. But laughter ensued...for like, ever, it seemed.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

April 14th...the monster

The light shone through the shades. My vision was blurry and my head was pounding. "God," I thought to myself, "I really slept here?"
Finally my eyes were able to focus.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Boogers...on the wall, the ENTIRE wall.
It was as if he would wake up in the morning and lay one on the wall as some ritual.

I grabbed my shoes and ran...ran as fast as I could.
He couldn't understand why I left and more over why I never came back.

His nickname, the boogie monster.

Monday, April 13, 2009

April 13th..

"I hear him..that's his cry Michael!"
It was so raspy and sad. We made our way almost pushing the nurse aside. The sight of him broke my heart. 11 months old and already his second surgery. This time was different. This time he could call for mommy and daddy, but we couldn't hear him or hold his hand.

I'd hoped they treated him like he was theirs, but no one could really, he was mine. My precious boy...'Mommy's here..shhhhh shhhhh shhhh". I wanted to hold him so badly.

His eyes opened, groggy and filled with tears. He must have thought we did this to him. "Mommy's here. Shhhhh... I love you honeybee, Mommy's here."
Busy weekend...skipped two days.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

april 9th, a month of memories.

I thought I was going to kill him. The knives were a few feet away, but he was still holding the baby. My hands were trembling and I felt out of control. I never thought I would get the numbers right and when I did, I never thought they would answer, it was 3 in the morning after all.

I was sobbing, hiding in the closet, begging my father to calm me down. The sound of his voice was soothing. I didn't think I was going to make it, I didn't think my husband and I were going to make it. All I could think of was this gut wrenching sadness that had gripped me.

April 8th. Over the Hump day

The music was loud...bangin' loud. My blood was running thin. I swear I could feel the beats dancing on my skin. Looking to my right I noticed my BFF having words with this tiny skank of a girl. The skank wasn't backing down. I gave it a few ...looked back over and the girl just wouldn't step off.

So I made her.
It became a battle of curse words, pushes and shoves, until skank dumped her beer down my white blouse...It was on like donkey kong! Then it happened...suddenly I felt a warm hand around my throat and my feet were lifting off the floor! I couldn't breath as I stared up the nostrils of some amazon sheman. We later named her Mama Balooga. My hands started flaling around trying to slap her and I let out these awful little squeaks. (totally intentional..right) Wow..I couldn't get her off me. Seconds seemed like minutes. I heard a bunch of "put her down!!!" comments and muffled yelling. When a hand reached up and slapped her across the face. I could finally breath. The guy that had been macking on me all night had taken action and actually had to hit her to get her to let go.

Security started to jump in and almost tackle...we were all escorted to the door. Mama Balooga was shown the way out with her skank girlfriend, we on the other hand..friends with security..were escorted to the bar. :)

Monday, April 06, 2009

April 7th, The proposal

Who doesn't like to hear about the proposal?
How about Before the proposal...

We were in the airport about to take off to Cali. I couldn't wait. Catalina Island was one of my favorite places to go and she sat patiently waiting off the coast for my arrival.

We loaded our luggage and made our way to security.
I went through and then Michael with his carry on bag.
All of a sudden the security officer stopped Michael, the following transpired:

"Sir, your going to have to open your bag"

Michael stood daughted.
He unlocked the bag and started laying the contents on the table.

Suddenly he pulled out a package wrapped in brown paper, taped together in white tape. I got a sick feeling in my stomach and my mouth dropped to the floor.
"Oh my God!!! Did someone slip you drugs??"

Michael looked at the security officer in embarrassment..."It's a gift for my girlfriend."

"Well sir, you are going to have to unwrap that!"

"Can you run it through the machine one more time? Please?"

The officer smiled, still a little gaurded. She ran the package through and was finally able to see it's contents. She smiled at Michael, handed the package back and wished us both a nice vacation.

A Month of Memories, April 6th.

I remember hearing the chirping and looking down to see a little bird struggling in the grass.
I knew better than to touch it, but there was no nest above and he was so small.
I picked him up thinking that I could get him some food and feed him till he was able to fly.
Even though my second thoughts were screaming at me, it was already too late, he was in my little hands. If I put him down now, he would surely die.

I looked up to see my step-father rounding the corner. I was going to get in trouble for touching him, I had to hide him quick. I tossed him as gently as I could into the bush next to me hoping he would have a gentle landing.

When I came back only minutes later to check on him and rescue him once more, I found that the fall had broken his neck.
I was so young, maybe I knew better, maybe I didn’t, but the thought of it still haunts me and I feel no less guilty 24 years later.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

April 5th early

It was wrong on so many levels, but I didn't care.
Tequilla was my favorite drink at the time, it made me feel good, the music made me feel good, awesome in fact.
I moved my body in ways that I never thought I could, so when I finally found a partner willing, I danced. We danced, until lights out. Last call, where were we, in the sand, groping each other, hands roaming and tounges still dancing.

Then I felt a quick jerk and I was up on my feet, sand on my ass, hair messed to the hilt, it was the party pooper, my best friend. Time to go home.

Apparently I made an ass of myself, in her eyes, to me though....I was da bomb!

Month of Memories April 4th

an April/2000 Journal entry

It's been 8 months. Angela bought me this journal. She knows I keep one. I never thought that my journal was so important to me until now. I can write what I feel and no one tells me I am wrong for feeling that way. So how do I feel right now? Aside from having Angela in my life, lonely. Sometimes I get so down, I don't want to get out of bed. I miss him. I miss him dearly. He was the love of my life and then he ripped the life out of me. It's amazing you know, how one person can effect you so much. I suppose I always knew he would leave, breaking my heart in the process. I was just so content loving him, I brushed everything aside, I brushed me aside. I hope that none of my childrensuffer like I have suffered.
Sometimes I dream about him only to wake up to find no one holding me. I don't think I'll ever get used to being alone. I know one day I will get over him, but I'll never forget him, or stop loving him. I just wish I knew how to move on with my life.
I wonder if people really knew what love could to you, would they choose to fall in love, knowing the ending?

What would I do with one wish? To be happy. With that one wish all my others woudl come true.
I don't think I will ever teach my children to wish upon stars and wish for things unreachable. Such as wishing someone would love them.
My problem, I feel too much. One day I know things will turn out okay for me, I just hope that day comes sooner rather than later.
Just sometimes the lonliness sets in and I just don't know what to do with myself. I may dance & sing & even smile but hell if I don't go home and rest my head in my hands and cry. Hell if I don't sit in the bottom of the shower until the water runs cold, and cry. Hell if I don't still look at all those stars I wished on, and cry.
I just don't want to cry anymore.
-El
Another April Entry.
Do dreams really come true? Yes. I would like to believe they do. The dreams that come true may not always be the ones you wished for. Then when your heart is fulfilled you wonder, "How could I of wished for anything different?"

June 11th, 2000 I went on my first date with Michael, now my husband. Life is sweet, isn't it?

Friday, April 03, 2009

A month of Memories, April 3rd.

Spring was always my grandmother's favorite time of year. My mother and I would always go to her house in the spring and help her garden. I hated every second of it. Little did I know the impact my grandmother would have on my life. I was just young, impatient and always had something better to do. It wasn't until many years later I realized there were lessons to learn from my grandmother. She was born in 1900. She lived through times that most of us have only read about in history books.

After my Emma Josephine was born, the following spring, I was in the area that my grandmother lived. The church she was buried at was just right down the way. My husband and I picked up some flowers for Mama Helen, her favorite, tulips, to lay at her grave. It was cold for April. It reminded me of her burial in Decemeber, how cold it was, how hard the ground was. It brought tears to my eyes.

My husband stepped back and watched my son as he ran through out the cemetary, while I made my way to Mama Helen with Emma in my arms. Tears began to fill my eyes before I even saw her name. I stood there not knowing what to say, although Mama Helen surely knew my thoughts. I'm one of those "pray outloud" kind of people. So I began,

"Hi Mama Helen. This is my daughter.....
I named her after you."

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Month of Memories. April 2nd

So I got the call!
Finally.
I was no longer the only mom in the group. Katie, friends since we were 13, was in labor.
Michael and I rushed to the hospital so we would make it in time. Talk about a big hospital!! We got lost. I thought to myself that knowing Katie, that baby would be out in no time.
I made my way to her room and to my surprise, mom & dad were there...and some other friends as well.
I think it only took an hour before the doctor told her it was time to push. Wow..took me 29 and I still didn't deliver naturally. I went to leave the room to give them privacy, but to my surprise she asked me to stay.
I sat awkwardly in the corner of the room and watched as Katie gave birth to a beautiful 9 pound little girl named Gwenevere.
The entire scene was a bit surreal. Katie's dad paced behind the curtain only listening to the birth. I and another friend sat in the corner watching the shabang! and Momma Cowley stood by her daughter....shoving her cell phone in her face so that she could talk to her sister directly afterward.

hmmm.

At that point I decided that there were to be no phones in my delivery room.
Happy Birthday Gwennybear!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

A month of memories ; April 1st. Fools Day.

So how appropriate would it be to share my worst April Fools prank.

It was exactly 4 months after we moved into the new house. Tyler was soundly sleeping and the phone rings. I thought "dang, it's not even 7 in the morning" I answer.
On the other end I hear someone crying my name. "Hello???"

"Elnora, I've been hit, he came out of now where and it hurts"

"MICHAEL!!! Oh my God! Where are you?"

all I heard was crying... "MICHAEL?"....

"Elnora it was a big tracker trailer, he hit me....oh god!"

"Where are you Michael, where are you?" I became a bit hysterical and started to cry. Tyler was sleeping, what would I do?

"I am on the road by the house!"

I whisked Tyler up out of his bed, wrapped him in a warm blanket. Never mind that I was in my underwear, I started to run with the portable phone on my ear out of the house, crying and frantically looking for my husband. "Where are you Michael, I don't see you" I was crying and running so fast that I fell.

Then I heard it.
I couldn't believe it.
Laughing.

Followed by an "APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!"
Well I am trying to keep this site a little clean, so let's just say I screamed things I never thought my mouth could scream. Hung up the phone and went into my house sat on my couch and cried.
I thought my husband was dying.
When he came home, he's lucky he didn't!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

April Fools Day

I gotta get the husband good.
Any ideas?

I think I should do something and get his co-workers in on it.

tee hee hee

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

closer to fine?

hmmm..what are we getting close to? Obama says no nationalization or socialization , but I wonder

Monday, March 23, 2009

dreaming....again.

I kept thinking that everytime I woke up from the same dream.Some dreams haunt me. There is no reason for me to have them and yet, I do and I wake up feeling like I have something to be ashamed of.
I am not talking about sexual dreams, but the emotion involved in them. I try to wake up and when I finally do, I fall asleep only to relive the same dream over again. Like there is a point or a message to it all.
I know what my heart is and I know what my heart feels and what it wants. I would certainly never change the life I have now. Maybe my dreams are a way for me to live the life that I could have if I had made other decisions, but in the dreams, I always end up the same way, hurt and alone.
I hate it when they affect me so.

Friday, March 20, 2009

coming soon...

April I am going to do a theme...
A month of memories. Hopefully everyday I will be able to post a memory, some good, some bad. But they all define me.

Bout' time I got some of that bail out moola $$ Cha Ching!

So, how do you suppose I did that?
Jeffrey Katzenberg-led of Hollywood animation is the the former CFO of Bank of America, it just so happens that Bank of America is now running a promotion to a free upgrade from 2-D to 3-D for all it's customers.

Bank of America just recieved 45 Billion in financial Aid and now all of a sudden, families get a free upgrade to a movie whose parent company is struggling financially!

Hey I'm not too proud to beg... Get yours here!

You can check out the News article here.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Memories

I was sitting hear listening to the radio and a song started playing that took me back a few years. It's amazing how a song can just bring up a time in your life and you re-live it a little bit in the few short minutes it plays, then when it's over, you kinda sit back and smile.

The song was Jack and Diane by John Mellencamp.
I was 15 years old sitting in a boat while my boyfriend Chris rowed out to a small island off the shore of Indian Head. When we got to the shore, he sat on a log and started patting his hands on his knees and started singing that song to me. He pulled me close. I thought to myself, I am so in love. It was a bittersweet moment. His parents were moving him to Texas and I would probably never see him again after that weekend. He was my first love, and my first.

I thought moments like that would come around often. I realize now that those are the moments I will relive when a song comes on the radio and takes me away, not forever, but atleast for a few minutes.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Obama is a marketable product!


Unaware of the racist overtones??? That's the understatement of the year! It's fried chicken for pete's sake!
Did you know they even sell Obama Soap on a Rope?
Don't believe me...
They call it hope on a rope. Hope for what??? We all know what soap on a rope is associated with.

Other Obama products:
The Obama Dildo
Obama Toast
OBama Llama
Taste of Obama Cookie

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

This dude is a male gigolo?

Aside from this 44 year old dude looking like my ex, very well-aged, he by no means looks like a sexy I gotta have him type of guy.

But this guy, Helg Sgarbi, apparently swindeled all these rich women out of millions of dollars.

He would wine and dine them, seduce them, pork em' till they could'nt take it anymore, and then would blackmail them, threatening to tell their hubby's or the rich elite about their affairs.



His biggest profiled victim was Susanne Klatten, Heiress of BMW and married mother of 3.
Now if you ask me, this lady can do better than that guy. I did choose a better looking photo of her b/c quite honestly, she does look a little butch in all the others, but it seems here, smiling, she is a pretty lady. And she fell for a guy with no lips.

This guy is also apparently nicknamed "James Bond".
um...no.

Unfortunately Mrs. Klatten has no one to share the spotlight with. Prosecutors offered Helg a deal, spare the other victims embarassment and plead guilty, and you get minimal time.

Now I say,
Where is the fun in that. This guy is so money hungry, you know there is a book deal in the works!

Lets make this a little more interesting!
Now if Helg had a body like this, with a face like that...maybe we could talk!

Create your own FACEinHOLE
But with a face like that, she would have to look like this:

Create your own FACEinHOLE

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

This is the book I read to my son last night.



So I sat there looking at the cover of this book.... something struck me a bit odd.

Then I turned the book upside down.



Then I realized what it was.

Fly's don't have noses.....lol!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Ellie: "Did you call your sister and congratulate them about having a boy?"

Hubby: "No not yet"

"Man are they in for a surprise"

"Why?"

"Having a girl and then a boy...."...."The girls get hard when the boys come into the picture"

"Really?...... I thought it was the other way around"

Ellie pauses.... thinks about it... "that's not what I meant"...Dang folks..hubby made a funny

Friday, February 20, 2009

Response to last nights propose incinerator meeting

at 537 Million Dollars, you would think you get what you pay for, but the underlying risks from a waste incinerator, you pay for more than you bargain for. When I purchase my home they never disclosed that an incinerator might go up in my neighborhood. It's the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy of Realtors. I had to sign a waiver saying that if my neighbor decided to purchase cows I couldn't complain about the smell b/c afterall Frederick is a farming town. Um... I didn't sign a waiver for the smell of this right next to my house.


Dear Commissioners:
I want to thank you for taking the time to listen to the citizens of Frederick last night.
As I sat and listened to the preceding last night, as so many others, I was able to get a glimpse of the personalities of each commissioner. I don’t pretend to know each of you personally and I don’t pretend to know what has taken place behind closed doors pertaining to the discussions of the ‘incinerator’ idea. However I could clearly see who was for, who was against and who had simply ‘had enough’.

Madame Commissioner and Commissioner Thomson, I believe, were much on the defensive last night. Madame Commissioner your demeanor seemed like one of possible confliction, trying to please both sides. I had just wished that Commissioner Thomson conveyed that the comments made by the citizens last night were more important to him. I couldn’t get past the numerous comments about wasteful diapers, point of orders, tight lips and rolling of the eyes. While some from the community were in attack mode, the majority in attendance were and still are truly and genuinely concerned with the adverse affects this would have on our families. We don’t mean to bash you with pleas to make you feel guilty for decisions you have made or to sound redundant, it’s just all of us wanted a chance to speak. We elect our officials in the hopes that their decisions speak for the community.

The idea that the responsibility to report ideas, discussions and proposals lies solely in the medias hands is absurd. Not all of us have a chance to rest let alone read a paper. I try to keep up, but sincerely, your letter on the 3rd was the first indication to me just how close to my home the incinerator would be. Commissioner Thomson suggested that it was my own fault for not keeping up, well I have registered this morning to your email alert system. Hopefully that will help. But Mr. Thompson, again, I work 40 hours a week so that my family has healthcare, and my husband works about 60 hours a week to pay the daycare and the mortgage. The few hours we have aren’t spent on a computer, watching TV or reading a paper. It normally consists of making dinner, giving a bath and reading Thomas and Friends or playing games with our children. Our children, our reason for moving here in the first place.

Due to the high incidents of reoccurring cancers in my family, we actively participate in cancer fundraisers as a family (even the little ones). I couldn’t imagine one day being a part of a cancer cluster research study. I have always said that if I got cancer, I might just shoot myself. After watching my Aunt die a slow painful death from the disease, I couldn’t bear to do it. To hold out on hope and prayer alone b/c medicines weren’t working.
Although Commissioner Jenkins might not believe the hysteria’s concerning the health risks, I do. I urge the commissioners to visit an organization such as John’s Hopkins and witness firsthand the devastating effects cancer has on the human body and soul.

Commission Jenkins.. you stated the following : ‘. “I don't believe all the hysteria surrounding WTE facilities”.” Nobody will be living next to one, but having been to the WTE in Montgomery County I would not have that objection.”
Then I ask you, I have a nice property, 1 acre, four bedrooms, 2.5 baths across from a farm where you can pick fruit off the vine and eat it, backs up to a farm of sheep and goats that are friendly enough to come up to you and let you pet them, I have scenic views of Sugar Loaf Mountain, New siding, nice deck, just the perfect setting. When you build the incinerator close to my beautiful home, will you come purchase it from me for what I owe on it? (b/c we know once the incinerator goes in, I couldn’t sell it for more)
My neighbor’s are friendly people and I am sure they will be stuck there too, but don’t worry, they would welcome a new family with open arms.

This way I can move back to the rural views of Calvert County where I grew up. And my children will be safe(r). I am in real estate, I know how this works. Recently due to the market changes I lost my job in the mortgage industry. When I found another job I started promoting with in my office, the idea of promoting local businesses with free welcome packages with every loan application. We through something in there about helping out the SPCA as well. With the rise of people losing their homes, there is a rise of animals losing theirs as well. If you have anything about the Frederick Government you would like to include to promote more community activism, I would love to include it.

Being so close to this proposed incinerator I wonder why I still don’t have recycling in my neighborhood. Isn’t it reasonable to assume that people will be less inclined to recycle if the incinerator goes up. And I ask, why aren’t the schools recycling???? That bewilders me. When I am in the PTA, and I will be one day, you can be sure that things like that won’t get by me.

I call attention to one citizen’s idea and maybe Commissioner Hagen you can promote this, the balloon idea was wonderful. I as a citizen who drive by that site with my children every day, would love to see what this massive project would look like. Is this possible? I am sure there are some organizations that would donate the use of the balloons.

When attending last night I was hoping to hear more about the agenda on addressing the traffic as well, but I haven’t. The trains going through will back up traffic for trucks immensely. And we all know how ruthless truck drivers are on the road, the automatic assumption of right of way when crossing a street, the dodge of a light b/c it’s harder to rev the truck up, the disregard for delegated speed limits. With my experience of Essroc, it’s scary dodging a dump truck when I have my two babies in the car. I once had the pleasure of being 5 months pregnant, high risk, and run off the road into the ditch by a dump truck that didn’t even stop to see if I was okay. I got out of my car and sat in the grass crying too afraid to get back in the car.
Dodging a truck can be like dodging a bullet.
How is the county prepared to handle the traffic, the road maintenance and the enforcement of speeds and driving laws?

Can you please tell me about the plant emissions monitoring that is going to be set up and the possible proposals of ash clean up in the area?
Can you tell me about the possible proposals by the county to help homeowners that are in danger of losing property values b/c of the plant operating so close to their residential neighborhoods?

I am not for the plant, but I am always for discussion. Without discussion there can be no change.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Click the link for a great blog. I really like it, I am related to her, so a bit biased.
It's inspiring actually. All I do on my blog on a daily basis is yap about this or that, usually complaining. I should learn to explore my creative side a bit more. (I actually have one)
Maybe this calls for a new creation! I haven't posted on Conversations with Hubby in awhile, although we still have them.
The things that make your mind tinker!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

dirty joke, dirty joke..oo oo I gots a dirty joke

How do we know an idiot created women????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.who else would put an asshole next to the snack bar.



and yes I kiss my momma with this mouth

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

California



You know being from Maryland I used to think of California a lot , much during the winter months.
It's awful to think of California now. I have family that lives out there, about to lose their homes due to a sinking economy. My 'rich' Aunt's and Uncle's aren't so rich anymore.
Some people smirk at those that had money and seeing them lose it, but I am heavy hearted. My Aunt Cherie, though living very fortunate circumstances for a long time, is struggling. Cherie is one of the sweetest women you would know. And Aunt Maryann, she has always been beautiful. Passerby's might not care, but not knowing where they came from makes the difference. They didn't live happy early years and to over come their dire circumstance to rise and become fortunate, only to have it taken away is really scary.
Now at least they have loving and meaningful relationships to help.

I watch the news and see that the governor is about to lay of 10,000 workers today. That California is going into a deep pit, and it can't seem to get out.

How can one state go under this badly? Aren't we all apart of a more perfect union? I can't see California recovering if no one steps in to help.

Am I naive here?... if so please educate me.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Allegheny Power You Suck!

So not only did my taxes go up, my insurance went up, health care insurance went up, mortgage went up, now my electric went up.
And my income went down. So the story is for alot of us.

What is worse out of these...the electric. How bad could it be? Right?....try 49%.

So I opened the bill last night and was sucker punched in the face to see $491.64 staring at me.

Maryland removed the electricity caps so now electric companies can charge you what ever they want.

That is a fucking car payment! How the fuck am I going to be able to afford this shit...do they not want me to eat? Do they want me not to be clothed? What the fuck is happening in the United States right now? I just don't get it. How can you increase someone's electricity 49%?

I will tell you how... some big rich fat ass bastard is sitting in his leather chair smoking his $200 cigar and sipping on his imported brandy laughing his ass off b/c he knows everyone needs heat, he knows there is no regulation on heat...so why not charge all the bitches in this country out the wazoo for a basic element needed to substain life.

Short answer to the question...because he can.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

“I am, as I've said, merely competent. But in an age of incompetence, that makes me extraordinary.”- Billy Joel

Today I was blamed for someone else's incompetence and that person thought they could pull rank, I am not playing that game.

This person didn't even have the courtesy to look at me when having a conversation with me, as if I was beneath him somehow.

As I got a taste of his personality two days ago, he got a taste of mine today.

Let's be optimistic

Sometimes I wake up and just say to myself..."not again"
Not that I don't want to wake up, and I am very thankful for the life I have. But sometimes it feels like a routine and not a life.

And then there are days that I wake up feeling good only to feel unimportant by the end of the day. Battered and forgotten.

At the end of my life, I want to be able to say " am ready to go". At this point, I will need to live to 200 to have enough time to accomplish everything I want and to live my life the way I want.

Husband and I have decided to start playing the lotto.

UPDATE: No one has noticed my new hair cut & color today...and if they have they must hate it b/c no one has said it looks good. (me + hole = crawl in)

Monday, February 09, 2009

This is the look my daughter gave me this morning.

So my daughter comes down stairs...freshly woken up by her father. She had a rough night of sleep and wasn't too happy about being wisked up out of bed, changed with a cold wet wipe and some new cloths.

She comes down stairs and rounds the corner and looks at me...and gave me this look....this is the only way I know how to describe it.




I turned and looked at her... "Oh Miss Scarlett!!!"

Friday, February 06, 2009

Just how much is One Trillion Dollars?

one trillion one-dollar bills stacked high would reach nearly 68,000 miles into space, one third of the way to the moon.

If you started spending the day that Jesus was born, and you spent a million dollars every single day, you still wouldn't have spent a trillion dollars.

A million seconds is about 11 and a half days. A billion seconds is about 32 years. And a trillion seconds is 32, 000 years.




There you have it folks...you thought GW's plan was bad.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

sweet dreams are made of this..

I never got that song ya know. "Made of this"..what? cookie cutter stars and playdoh moons???? WHAT????

Well...now I know.

Without giving away your dirtiest of dreams you can wake up and say..."damn! "Sweet dreams are made of this" "This right here...(Smack...lick lips)....DAMN!"

Well folks...I had a doozie last night. Can't say what it was about, but it was like none other. Sexy, Fun, Loving, Dangerous, everything that makes my heart flutter...and it was so bad.

And we all know how ellie loves bad.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Me Denied? WTF????

So the Maryland Unemployment office denied be unemployment insurance.

Why you may ask??? B/c I said that b/c of my children I couldn't work a 2 am shift.

When I called to find out why they denied me they said b/c of my childcare situation. I was like what are you talking about, I kept paying for my children's childcare. You aren't available to work any shift.

You mean to tell me everyone accepting Maryland unemployment are available for everyshift. She said "you have to be available maam"
So in other words I am supposed to lie....

I have been working full time since I was 18 years old. I had a full time job for 7.5 years with the same company and I am not entitled to unemployment.

What kind of fucked up shit is that. I know there are those out there that milk the system..and someone who lost their job, has two kids to support and isn't a freaking liar...can't get unemployment.

I am pissed beyond belief.

Friday, January 30, 2009

When did I get so old


31. That's it... not a big number.
But yet, I feel like my body aches all the time, I am tired all the time, I just want to cuddle up, snuggle and rest.

I remember the days when 10 o'clock came around, my tummy would get all twisted in knots b/c I was about to go out and rock it all night with my bff. Who knows who we would run into, fight with, dance with, flirt with or hook up with. It was all so exciting.

I also remember the 2am knocks on the window of a certain someone...

Now I shuffle the kids around, turn out the lights, lock the doors and go to sleep. I think the most action I get is watching Nip/Tuck on television. (Damn C. Troy is sexy)

Sometimes I have these crazy dreams. I am my age but in my 23 year old body. I think that I try to keep this site R rated, anything beyond that I keep to myself and savor through out the day. (or roll over and give my husband a little sumin sumin)

Never thought of it that way

Bloomberg To Announce Bare-Bones, Doomsday Budget

After reading the above article, something dawned on me....all this time I kept saying to myself "what do I pay taxes for?", (Especially when unemployment denied my claim).

I never thought that with the millions of jobs lost, that is billions of tax revenue lost. With unemployment at a record high, I can't imagine what that does to government spending and the security of government jobs.

It's all a trickle down effect. The local store can't keep up shop, you see him go out of business. What you don't see is the management company going under b/c they can't rent his space, or the bank taking the hit b/c he couldn't make the mortgage.
You see the local bakery go under, not the hurting farmer that can't sell his product to the baker anymore. so on and so on.

My dad once said to me that he had just bought tons of ground beef. I asked why so much ground beef, isn't that bad for you? "yeah Elnora, but it's cheap and I can't make so many things out of it, cheap gets me through these days".

Now when I go to the store, it's nothing but shopping for deals, penny pinching, buying nothing but the store brand. I realize this is how it was when I was younger, this is how it is now. But now there is more to understand, and it makes me humble.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This is kickass!

SOOOO
you know that article two posts down about Obama and change....yada yada...

well my local paper picked it up and published it this week!

How freakin cool is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

The hardest conversation I've had

So in the midst of losing my job, I had to have one of the hardest conversations with my son that I have ever had.

One of Tyler's Teachers died suddenly.
Mrs. Janice. Tyler's first 'teacher friend' at school passed away due to the malpractice of some careless doctors.

He put his head in my lap and said "Mommy, I'm sad."

He didn't understand why God took her away and why, when God makes her all better, why she couldn't come back again.

It wasn't a conversation I had expected to have with him so early. I certainly never thought that I would have to tell my son a teacher of his died.

I can't say it was easy.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Can you spare a little "Change"


So it was only a little over a week ago that I lost my job.
It made me sick to my stomach facing a possible nightmare. What would I do if I couldn't find work? How would I provide for my family? What if my kids get sick? How long would our savings last us?
I thought that this would never happen to me, my job is secure. Then the owner of the company just walks in and says .."Ha fooled you!"

I'm just a little person though. Low man on the pole. It sickened me watching the news and seeing the reporter camped out in front of the owners mansion trying to get a statement. A statement that the low man on the pole deserved but wouldn't get. I guess some people think it's okay to break the backs of the people who helped you get where you are today.

We are about to witness a defining moment in history. Barack Obama, the President elect, is going to be the next President, the first Black president of the United States. There is no doubt it's exciting. Change is on the horizon....right?

I don't know...the first defining moment of Barack Obama's presidency is the inaugeration. So many outlets are focusing on what his speech is going to be about, but I can't get my mind past the bill.

No not Bill Clinton, the actual inaugeration bill. There are reports that this inaugeration is costing an estimated $170 MILLION.

Our country is on the verge of collapse. Banks are failing, car makers are failing, small business owners are failing, mortgage companies are failing, the average American is failing.

People are losing their life savings,their cars, thier family pets, their businesses and their homes. How can Barack Obama justify $170 million dollars on a few parties?
How does this get overlooked?

I get it...it's an historical moment. yada yada yada... I'm not saying don't celebrate, it's the President's right to be sworn in and celebrate it. It's great to unify the parties with celebration, but how do you explain that to the homeless person, or the family that just lost their home, or the family that just lost their home and medical benefits that has a sick child, explain it to the person that had to lay off their entire staff and close their business, explain it to the school that just shut off school sports programs b/c they can't afford it, explain it to millions of California residents that won't get their tax refunds b/c there is no money.

Change was the promise.
You would think that during these times and the times we face ahead, Barack Obama could spare a little "change".

Friday, January 16, 2009

What are you playing with?

Dog runs out of the house...balls start to freeze, so he runs right back in after his quickie pee.

I go upstairs to take an online survey...shit I can win $500 bucks, why not right?

boom! Boom! BOOM! What the hell is that noise? (Ignore it El, the dog will get bored.)

knock! Boom! shuffle shuffle...knock boom!

Damn it dog...***So I go downstairs...all the lights are out so it's really dark. I'm trying to save the moolah by turning the lights out... so squinting I see Coop is playing with something on the couch.

"Dude..get off my couch...what the hell is that?" (It was shoved in the cushions)...'Damn dog your breath is kickin' ..get away from me!
What is in the cushion..wooo that's cold, but squishy, like melting ice, or...(Stupid me I sniff it)....AAAAAHHH WHAT THE F*** DOG!!!!!!!!!

Apparently Cooper decided to pick up a frozen shit brick outside and make it his or bedtime snack!

No matter how much I wash, my hands can't get clean enough...and DAMN>>>>MY COUCH!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Blessed


It's hard to believe that in this economy, in my field, that I was able to find work so quickly.
I start Friday.

I have taken a $1000 annual paycut, but hey, I'm not complaining.

I met the bunch I am going to be working with, the owner of the company, the CEO, and I couldn't be more excited. My LO's are coming aboard too.

Get this, they might be moving into our old office space. I probably won't get my cushy office back, but its a small price to pay for job security.

I think that it's nothing short of God's work.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

So this is how it went down. Sunshine Mortgage Corp.

So Wednesday night I get to work. The rate sheets come out. Something strange, no locks for 60 days. Wow...we are in the best market in 2 years and the rates for OUR company are crap. We all go home wondering what was happening.

Around 8 pm I get a call... Elnora, Ted shut the company down. "What?" I stood in the hall trying to get a grip. I just lost my job...not just me, but every employee of Sunshine Mortgage and Madison Mortgage just lost their jobs. Hundreds of people with no warning, no notice.

And the kicker,,,no back pay. That's right, the owner of the company wanted to keep us all working until next Friday when we all realized our paychecks didn't come. The CEO's of the company resigned on spot and started making calls.

What happenend? A company that made 52 million a week?

The only thing I have to go on is rumors. Rumors that the owner, TED TERRY, couldn't make payroll..or could but wanted to cash his chips in and fuck everyone else. Rumors that his builder's business was tanking and he was funneling the losses into Sunshine's bottom line.

What ever the rumor, not paying us is illegal, not giving us 60 days notice under the ward law, is illegal, and I am sure there is something else going on that is illegal. So Monday morning it is my resolve to contact the Atlanta Prosecutor's office and try to budge them into an investigation. White Collar crimes can be icky.

Now I just pray that my family and the hundreds of families affected by this awful tragedy can survive. It's a cold winter my friends. Very Cold.

Anyone find out anything more for me, I will be extremely grateful.

http://ml-implode.com/imploded/lender_Sunshine&MadisonMortgageCorp_2009-01-08.html

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Wow.
I lost my job yesterday.
I think this will be the last post for quite some time.

Monday, January 05, 2009

So... Speaking of self conscience

This is me, 2001, only 7 years ago

Well, ya know Nikky speaking of feeling ick blah....
my friend ran into an old flame of mine. I actually wouldn't call him a flame..he was a hold me over till something better comes along type of boyfriend.

I knew him for about a year. And in those days.. I must admit I was smokin'. He constantly wanted to date me. So after a year and a few shots of tequila, I decided to give him a shot. Then the big moment came (pardon the pun), dude humped like a rabbit. I just couldn't deal. I dated him a little longer, and then Michael asked me on a date. Brian was a bad habit in a heart beat.
Don't get me wrong, he was a sweet guy, Head wrestler at UMCP so very buff, just he and I...not a pair.

So she tells me he is the same plus about 50lbs or more, and I thought, I wonder if he asked about me. Turns out he didn't but oh well. Then I thought, oh God, what would I have done if I ran into him.

What would I do if I ran into any ex's. Most likely run. I ran into my first love a few years ago. I had been up since 4 am with my father in the hospital, just had a baby, and looked like a truck hit me. As soon as I saw him, I took off. Didn't even have the balls to say hello.

I was so embarrassed to be seen looking the way I do now. But why?, I'm happy, in love, successful and living a good life. But I just sit back and recall how I used to look. ( I will scan a photo later)

So this is my motivation 2009... I am going to get in shape and go looking to accidentally run into someone. And my boobs... nothing a little Vicky Secret can't fix!

Friday, January 02, 2009

What goes up must come down

So I was in the shower this morning thinking to myself...wow... My tits used to be so perky.
I could go out to a club and no even wear a bra, those baby's would stand up on their own, perfect and plump!

Now, I can go down the stairs without feeling them flap against my skin. While I still think that my boobs are very pretty, and my husband certainly finds my post pregnancy ta ta's a thrill, I can't help but long for the days the ladies were wild and free.

I guess everything comes down in the end.

Hopefully the Butt isn't taking notes.