YOU KNOW WHAT ERKS ME

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dead or Alive...I mean the band or do I?

WOW!!!!There is no way I would have guessed that Pete Burns was just released from prison. For those of you who don't know him, he is from the band Dead or Alive. It's funny because his pictures surely suit his band title. You may remember him from way back when, I think the biggest hit they has was "You spin me right round" He looked a little different back then. What I think is Fucking halrious, is the fact that on his website it says the bands success has been attributed to Petey boy's style.

What style??? If that is style then maybe I should start dressing as the corpse bride, with a penis of course.

Now don't get me wrong, Pete does clean up a little, check it out.


I would kill to have lips like that .... wouldn't you. Lips like that would put Angelina to shame.

I wonder how his plastic surgeon sleeps at night...this man/thing or what ever it is, is definately addicted to plastic surgery. And I think there is a thing called ethics unless it was the crypt keeper working on this guy. He looks like he has implants in his lips....

Funny thought on plastic surgery....
You know how we did up mummies and think how cool they are. Well just think, in our time of plastic surgery and implants, when they go to dig us up years from now....will they find a bunch of jellies???

Today's video is for you Pete Burns!!!! And by no means am I a fan...I think that you are slightly sick! uhh...yeah ...just a little!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

WTF!!! Britney what is going through your mind dear?

I am going to write this entry in passionate pink because I am passionately pleading with you sweetie, stop. I am not going to say before it is too late, it has already gone beyond that point, but just, stop. I love Britney Spears, I may be one of the few left, but for some reason I can't seem to pull away. I see her as a lost child. I say child because she has not had the chance to grow up out of the spot light yet. Brit has been dissed this way and that, but really, the only way she probably knows how to fix things is with the media, and unfortunately anything she does will be misinterpreted. So she should just take a step back. Pulling a Demi was not the answer. Demi had a good reputation at the time she did those photos.
These are the photos posted on www.perezhilton.com
They were already modified before I got them, so I couldn't remove the wording, but look at how they are already slamming her. Sorry Brit!

Today's video is for Britney ....The best of Britney....I hope she comes back to us soon!


Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Thinking about trading your man in????



Yeah so I was sitting at home the other day looking at my hubby and thought, I wonder what else is out there? (not really, but it makes for a good story line starter) So I decided to log on the net while my hubby was watching the Yanks on TV. With every curse word that came out of his mouth I felt more determined than ever. I thought that there had to be an easy way to find a man with out dating. So I thought "Mail order Husband"...it had to be the most perfect idea ever. I just spend a little cash (My current husbands money) and pick out the perfect man! If he pisses me off I can easily kick him out and get my money back! It sounded ideal. So I logged on and found that I could even chat to my new bo before I bought him. It wasn't easy but here is my perfect man ladies!!! His profile reads the following:

Name: Earl

I deal in reality...and the reality is that I'm ready for love. I can chop lots of wood and can even climb a greased pole. I keep in shape by chasing chickens around my back yard. I keep my self clean and take baths weekly. Country: West Virginia, U.S.A.

Now the greased pole had me a little worried...after all what man admits to liking "greased poles?" But yet again, I can get my money back!!! He said he is in shape, and he chases chickens, just so happens I love chicken. Then he mentioned he had a back yard, my bachelor is a little older but he has land, so if he kicks it a little early, I atleast have an inheritence. He keeps clean by taking baths....I love a nice hot bubble bath, I may need to get a slightly larger one, but that is a small price to pay for the perfect man. I must admit my mind was full of ideas when my now hubby called out "Honey, your favorite show is on, I made you a bowl of ice cream, why don't you come up and sit next to me while I rub your feet!"

I took one last look Earl, and said good-bye, but I have paid tribute to Earl with a song & video at the bottom!

Disclaimer, yeah I totally made this shit up...I love my hubby, he is the perfect man!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

My husband is having an affair!!!

NO NOT BEALLY, BUUUUUT.......Remember the movie Christine??? (You might if you are my age), well meet Violet, yes this is my husband's new girlfriend. Am I jealous, of course, why...oh I don't know. Maybe the fact that 3 times already I have been disappointed and he has only owned the car/truck/bitch for a week. It really serves no purpose either! First he wanted a garage, then he wanted a full size truck, then he wanted a garage again, then it was this peice of shit! "Make up your mind" I said. And I guess he did, he chose the curvy Violet, evil little hag!
Granted, he gets to spend more time with his dad tinkering, and once it is done I will probably love to go to shows, and I have some ideas on how to spruce it up myself, and our son will love it one day too...so I can't say why I hate this bitch so much. It's just something about it. I think I fear that he will want to spend more time with her than me. That maybe she is prettier than me. I have no clue......anyone else have .any ideas????

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

What to do about those hurricanes

You know what ERKS me?.....Angelina Jolie!


"Next we'll adopt. We don't know which - which country. But we're looking at different countries. And we're - I'm just - it's gonna be the balance of what would be the best for Mad and for Z right now. It's, you know, another boy, another girl, which country, which race would fit best with the kids."
This is what that dumb bitch said to CNN. What do you mean "Which race would fit best with the kids" & What would be best for Mad and Z....um didn't you just have Shiloh or does that matter b/c she is American? I am sorry but I don't like her because #1. She is a home wrecker#2. This isn't the first time #3. She belongs in porn b/c she has been with that many men.( & made out w/her brother) #4 Can't make up her mind if she is straight, gay or bi #5 the adoption thing.(This is what I hate the most) I know that she does alot of good in this world, don't get me wrong, helping other countries with thier less fortunate is a great thing. I wish more stars would do the same. But why do stars need to go OUTSIDE our country to help. What is wrong with adopting an American child? There are so many children here in our own country that need help. And with her fame and as much money as she has, I am sure that she would have no problem getting through all the red tape. I just wish that little miss do gooder would consider her own country.....just once!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

How to tell if your neighbors hate you! (BE Contest)


My sister in law has some pissy ass neighbors. They don't like my sister b/c her husband is a blue collar worker and they say the neighborhood is for white collar only. My brother in law said to them in one of the meetings..."It must really piss you off a highschool graduate makes more money than you!" One house has sent them letters harassing them, has sent people by their house taking pictures while their kids were out front playing. They are some extreme bitches. It has gotten so bad that my sister had to put the house up for sale and move to another neighborhood. Thats okay though...better schools, brand new house, bigger...she got the better end of the deal.

I had to do the same thing. I had a neighbor that got mad at me for parking in the space she normally parks in. She confronted me while I was walking my dog. Mind you, we had no assigned parking and I parked there b/c there was no upfront parking and I was bringing my 1 year old home from surgery at Children's Hospital. I told her that and she continued screaming at me. I said Deb..ya only parked 2 more spots away..still she wouldn't shut up...So I told the 500lb bitch that she needed the exercise and to get over it. From there everyday I would get home with my son in tow, she would antagonize her pittbull "Get her...get her...good girl". Her Pitts were notorious for getting loose and I could picture that happening and her dog attacking my child. I was terrified. Then she would leave them outside to bark till after 9 at night and let them out when I was showing my house when we put it up for sale. One night she said loudly while outside..."everyone coming to look at thier house will know I have Pitt Bulls!!" From that I confronted her again. I lost it! My husband had to hold be back. Then I called the animal control and told them I didn't want to be anonymous...let her know that I called and that it was my decision to have her dogs taken b/c I caught everything on video and I was being nice and not doing that. Let me sell my house and then you can do what ever the hell you want! We sold our house two weeks later and thank God.....her dogs had puppies 3 weeks later!

Tell your horror stories...Best one wins 20 BE points a post and caption!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Funny Joke today!!! & Happy Fairy



One Day In The Elevator...

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me"?

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around"!

Yankees LOST!!!!


I don't know what they were thinking, but Yanks ya really let me down this weekend. Some people may hate me b/c I am southern and a Yankee lover, but that's okay. I secretly flip you the bird when you aren't looking.

We went to the game this weekend and I must say I made the biggest mistake of my life....I took my under 2 year old with us. We thought...oh boy his first baseball game!!! We should have checked ourselves into the clinic. He was everywhere! I ended up letting him walk the entire stadium thinking maybe he would wear himself out. No such luck!!!

I won't do that again!

Friday, June 16, 2006

FRIDAY!!!!



So it tis..it tis...and how is your Friday??? Mine is great!!!! My blog renter is back from last week....I totally love her blog.
Ya'll gotta check it out! Comment and leave your BE name and I will transfer credits for the visit!

Soooo I gotta bitch about something right...that is what I do!
My hubby decided to teach our beautiful innocent child a new word. SEXY...
When Tyler sees a pretty lady, Michael wanted him to be able to say "sexy". Well Tyler learned the word..... almost..... he can't pronounce the "y" on the end. So now he checks out a pretty lady and says "OOHH LALA....SEX!!!!". Yeah, that was a tough one to explain to our daycare lady! Way to go daddy!!!!

(I do get a little chuckle out of it though!)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

You can tell by the size of a man's horn!



I love coming into work...you know why? I have lots of friends who have lots of friends that send them dirty emails from thier lots of friends who then forward them to my friends who then forward them to me b/c they are my friends.

You know what is even better, opening the dirty email from all of the above so everyone in my office can see that I am a sick and twisted pervert. (Then they ask for me to forward it to them)(say whaaaat?)

You would think they would come up with something better than horny rhinos doing it!!!

Friday, June 09, 2006

The wicked witch is dead!!!!

AND I HOPE IT HURT!!!!!





YOUR NEXT DICK FACE!!!!






I don't normally post really personal stuff...but this is a pic of my baby brother Jon in the desserts of Iraq. I guess he isn't such a baby any more. He was only 21 when they invaded Baghdad. I wish he could have made it to my wedding, but he was over in Iraq. When his tour was done there he was sent to Africa. I found out I was having a baby but he didn't make it for the birth of his first nephew b/c he was sent back to Iraq. He missed a ton of important family happenings fighting to help other families survive. I am so proud of him. Some may not support our president but please support our troops. Jon is coming home this month and I am so grateful that these evil men have not won. I hope he knows how proud I am of him. As much as the world may see him a man & a soldier, I still see him as my baby brother, but also my hero.

Thank you Jonathan.





Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I new there was something wrong with me!!




You Are 60% Evil



You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.

Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.



I saw this on my renters blog http://casualslack.blogspot.com/

I guess I'm not that bad, but I was surprise I answered yes to a ton of the questions.

You really should check my renter out. A ton of little nothings that peak your interest.

Leave a comment on what you think of my blog renter and another one of my postings and I will transfer BE points to you!

Just leave your screen name.

Thanks


Monday, June 05, 2006

The Sopranos Erk the hell outta me now!!!!


What the hell was that???? I am a long time Soprano lover....long time. But I almost screamed last night. I waited all season for what...to see Christopher screw Anthony's chick while smokin a crack pipe...that was it? I gotta tell ya HBO...you really had me going. Absolutely nothing happened this season. They could of atleast found Adrianna's body or they could of made her alive scheming to rat everyone out. And what was with the gay theme this year. That was a little played out. Like he could really bag that guy.... and oh the lame lines "I love you too Johnny Cakes" Johnny cakes.....come on! They should of said..."oohh that's right poo bear, stick it there"! It would have been wonderful if everyone started coming outta the closet....Tony "I'm out!" Chris.."No Way YOU too?!!" Then Carm says..."Oh Thank God I thought I was the only one!"in her beautiful New Yorker Accent. I just think the story lines regarding Vito were a little hard to swallow. (No pun intended)
I think maybe the carnival thing would have been great if the baby went flying off the tea cups and pinged the clown over the water bin. "Ding Score!"
Well atleast Junior got laid this season...nevermind that the girl was way too hot for him and he looked like a vamp naked next to her full hot body! Junior got laid! 4 snaps for Junior!!!
It just seemed like this season was constantly setting up for something and then BAM!!! Nothing. Check out the Sopranos NEXT YEAR!!!! I thought this was supposed to be some extended season. What was all that hype about? I thought they might come back in September, but NOOOOOOOOOOO they went and screwed us all up. What a waste of my $13 a month for HBO...

But you know I will check it out next year cuz someone's gonna get wacked! I lick my lips thinking about it!