Thursday, November 30, 2006
Bit of the article:
"There comes a time in a flowering plant’s life when it must learn about the birds and the bees, involve them in its sex life and produce a beautiful blossom. One plant sprouts a 60-plus-inch phallus, heats up, stinks like a corpse, does its best to attract carrion beetles and flesh flies and, after three pungent days of sexual activity, goes limp."
Apparently it takes 8 years to raise one of these bad boys! Go here to read the full article. I hope this clears the air ya'll...but not if a penis flower is near!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
"Zero Cash, Little Talent and 30days"
2nd listing "Amazon.com 'Bird Woman'"
I wouldn't say that was completely accurate.... But atleast I did get my website. So lets try my maiden name:
And you get a response to an article I wrote in college about chain reaction racism.
google yourself and tell me what you get....
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Anyone else see it? Love the scratching of the balls part!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Shopping, Saturday, had to pee like a mo fo! So we went into Best Buy so Hubby could stare at all the 56 inch televisions we were not going to buy, and I could use the toilet. I walk into the bathroom and there is some best buy employee teen talking on her cell phone. I wasn't sure if she was trying to hide, but I had to pee. On my way back to the stall I hear her talking "Yes, I will be by this afternoon Mr. so and so to fill out the paperwork" immediately this did not sound like an unimportant phone call. So there I was, peeing, very loudly in an echoing bathroom, she is still talking with no signs of letting up. I wasn't going to stop my routine b/c her dumbass couldn't find a better place to talk than in a public bathroom. I know he hear the WOOOOOOSH! It was not quite at all, and just to rub it in a bit I took my time washing my hands. It was the least I could do, since someone had the pleasure of listening to me pee!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
I hope everyone this year takes a look around and realizes the simple things in life are the ones we should thank God for. I never thought that I would be 29 and finally settled down, with a home and a family and for once, stability. I know who I am, I finally love who I am, I am thankful for everything.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
She almost died this summer. And still I haven't been able to bring myself to reach out to her. How do two people so close, grow so very far apart? Maybe it wasn't she that changed, maybe it was me. Maybe that is what I dislike so much. I have grown up. So if I call her now, what do I say?
Monday, November 20, 2006
Over the weekend, Micheal Richards,(Kramer from Seinfeld) performed at LA's Laugh Factory. I absolutely love that club. We had a blast there 2 years ago. Anyhoo...when you go to a comedy show, normally the audience is allowed to heckle and join in on the fun. Well, when an audience member did so, Mr. Richards spewed out a slew of hate words and insinuations towards the the audience member. Including using the "N" words more than 20 times in his less than 3 minute tyraid. Audience members were disgusted and left the show. Mr. Richards also left the stage. Now I know I love going to comedy shows. But when was it "okay" to become racially belligerent and obscene in the name of comedy. I have been to shows were the language just takes away from the act and it is no longer funny. It is awful when comedians make slurs about their own race, and awful when they make fun of others. Even sexual orientation or about women and sex. I paid for my parents to go to a comedy club last year for Christmas, and my mother said it was sweet of us, but that the language by the comedian was grotesque. Should we start giving the shows ratings, instead of PG we have "NR" for no racial slurs or "NB" not a bigot and I don't even want to touch the rating if they do...has it really come to that?
Friday, November 17, 2006
Wow...OJ Simpson... I always knew that he got away with murder. Then with the law suit, never paying a dime, got away with murder twice. Now OJ pulls a "nanny nanny boo boo" you can't catch me move! Writing a book "If I Did It" a 'hypothetical' account of how he would of committed the murders of Ron Goldman and Nicole Simpson. It's the closest to a confession of murder I think we will ever get out of him and on top of it, he is getting paid millions. Murder for Profit. This is complete devastation to the families of the victims. But I worry what kind of message this is sending. Fox is actually going to air a special from OJ that is more of a promotion for the new book coming out. I am sure billions will tune in. I haven't decided if I will or not. I can't ever see myself purchasing the book b/c that is like paying him for the crime. But I wonder if I would succumb to the morbid curiosity of the TV Special. Something tells me I won't. I just can't believe that he can get away with something like this.
What is going on today?
Links of information regarding this topic:
Thursday, November 16, 2006
This is one of the most disturbing things I have seen in a long time. I am not sure what exactly took place to make this happen in the first place, but the escalation of the entire incident. This student's mother must be beside herself. I would like to hear your thoughts...
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
So is that wrong of me to do that??? I explained where I bought it from, what my reserve was and did not offer a certificate. I kinda feel bad, but then again I don't. I know the thing is real. Hubby is just a stickler for those types of things. I ended up putting an old engagement ring on ebay too. I have 8 watchers but no takers yet. It is a great price for the ring. 1/2 carat for $350..put it in a new setting and you have a new ring. A really pretty one too. I am not going to wear it.
I wonder what else I could put on ebay. I think we should all come up with some ridiculous item to sell...like "our dirty little secret" and see how much we could fetch for it. Maybe someone will buy my doggy bitten shoes???? What do you think we should sell?
Monday, November 13, 2006
I can hardly wait for this invention to become available. I would love to send it as a gift to my Canadian and German friends, and my favorite cousing out in Cali. It is the new Hug Shirt. It has sensors and is activated by a phone call.
It warms up and sends all the signals of a long distance hug from a friend. This thing is a must have for me!
Go to The Hug Shirt to learn more about it!
Friday, November 10, 2006
I don't know what it is about Starbux coffee. I have a cappacino/expresso maker at home. I am quite good at making a latte, cap or mocha. Oh the frothy goodness! Warms my tummy to the core. So if I am so good at it, why do I pay $4 every other day for this yummy treat. As I was sitting in the line of 15 cars ahead of me, I thought, "It has to be to save time"! I am only fooling myself here. Waiting in a Sbux line takes forever and I am almost never on time for work when I do. The only reason my son sits through it is the anticipation of a promised doughnut. His mouth waters just as much at mine when you approach and start to hear the roaring sounds of the frother and you get a wif of the fresh coffee aroma from perking fresh coffee beans picked by hand from the Himalayas. I calculate that I buy Sbux 3 to 4 times a week. That runs me $468 to $624 a year. When you think about that in coffee beans, that's alot of coffee beans. So why do I do it? The answer is simple....I can't make croissants...ya gotta have a coissant to go with your $4 cup of coffee...right?
Or is it pure laziness? I will never cop to that!
Friday, November 03, 2006
Name 13 Random facts about myself...Here goes.
I love burnt pepperoni
I love taking all the marshmallows out of my lucky charms, putting them in a pile and eating them.
I used to be a size 9 (no really, I have the dress in my closet to prove it to my children one day)
I dream about either my poetry or my childrens book being published one day
I can't shower in a dirty bathroom
Speaking of bathrooms, I will not go #2 in a public one
I secretly wish that for one day I could be completly selfish with no ramifications
I dabbled in a few hallucinagens when I was younger
I used to think that I knew how love felt, until I met my hubby...that was the first time anyone had ever loved me...for me
Sometimes I dwell in the past too much
I hate my feet, even pedicured, I can't stand them
I can sing, like really well, sometimes I think I could make it in the finals on American Idol.
I graduated with a bachlors in English and can't spell worth a shit!
SO I decided that this year for Christmas I would go to my mother's on the Eve and come home with hubby and child that night to wake up Christmas morning, just the three of us, no pressure, on the 1st Christmas morning in our new home. Sweet, Personal, Simple,.....peace. ...finally....
Well now my mother is crushed that she is not coming over Christmas Eve to spend the night and see her grandson open gifts in the morning..........b..a...h..u..m..b..u..g! What do I do?
Thursday, November 02, 2006
I really thought that this policy was stupid...am I the only one? I think Target just lost my business.
attacks in this
thread when Ellie asks if I would like to be a guest poster. Since she
and her husband are spending most of their time lately getting
it on, I thought that was the least I could do to help out. Ellie, if
you conceive on the day when you post this instead of writing yourself, you
owe me (just kidding).
Kids. I don't have any myself. I've never been married, and I've never been
in a relationship close to serious enough to even discuss marriage, let
alone kids. But, I like kids. My brother has a five-year-old little boy, and
his aging uncle is usually exhausted, bumped and bruised after playing
together. I spend entirely too much money on him (according to my mother) on
stuff that my sister-in-law despises. But, hey, it's better than spending my
money at the bar - and I'm not the one who has to listen to the noise and
have the things scratching up my furniture and my shins. My nephew
loves the toys that his uncle buys him, and that's what matters. It's
I was glad my nephew came along. I am 39 years old and 16 months older than
my brother. Until my nephew's arrival, I was the one always catching grief
from my mother and other relatives about producing a grandchild. Never mind
that I wasn't married - or that my brother was. I was the oldest, so I guess
they assumed it was my responsibility. I suppose I could have shown up at a
family reunion and said, "Hey, there's a new kid on the way," then watched
all of their faces when their minds started racing and wondering if I had
gotten married without them knowing it. I could have made it even better by
telling them the mother was a stripper. My mother probably wouldn't have
been too happy with that, especially if some aging uncle or aunt had fainted
or had something more serious happen. I did take a Hooters waitress as my
date to a work-related banquet once - but that's for another time.
Next up is dealing with babysitting. I wouldn't mind, but I established a
few criteria when my nephew was born, and I am sticking to them. They
include the following:
1. He must be able to go to the bathroom by himself. He is getting
close to this point, but not quite (getting pants back up and buttoned
properly apparently is a challenge from time to time). (edit from ellie-if you don't have carpeting and you do have a mop...let him run around naked!)
2. He must be able to feed himself. He can handle this, for the most
part, so we would be cool going to McDonald's - or Hooters (I'm sure my
sister-in-law would love that too). (edit from ellie- Hey I'd take my kid to Hooter's...sounds like a weekend plan!)
3. He must be able to bathe himself. I don't bathe kids - especially
those that aren't mine. Something just doesn't seem right about that. (Edit from ellie-let the dog lick him clean...okay okay that might not be a good idea)
So, my mother is happy (at least not complaining as much), and life goes on.
Maybe one day, I'll have kids of my own. Until then, I'll just spoil my
Thanks for the time and the space, Ellie
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I always am the last one to hear about these things, but there I was, sitting on my couch playing online scrabble (rather losing) when the news caster is mumbling this or that about John Kerry. I look up when I see the clip of his speech the other day and hear the following :
"Education…if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”
What happened to you asshole? Why did YOU end up in a war? Were you too stupid to do anything else with your life? It's not like you will run for president one day...oops you did run...YOU JUST LOST!!! I guess you are just bitter, a sore loser, what ever you want to call it. While G. W might not be the greatest president in history..he would never call his military ignorant! Senetor John Kerry, you have greatly offended me. My brother went to war for your freedom, he spent his 22st birthday preparing to fight a war in Iraq. He faced possible chemical war-fare, the death of his comrads, the possible loss of his own life. He missed my wedding and the birth of his 1st nephew then his christening. He missed Thanksgiving, instead he had sand in his mouth from non-stop windstorms. His face, lips and hands cracked and bled and his body shivered in the cold darkness of the dessert while you slept safe and sound in your bed with your entire family on Christmas Eve. I am deeply saddened by your remarks and pray that the Democratic party no longer stands behind your blind ambitions. I never thought this before, but you Mr. Kerry SUCK!