I kept thinking that everytime I woke up from the same dream.Some dreams haunt me. There is no reason for me to have them and yet, I do and I wake up feeling like I have something to be ashamed of.
I am not talking about sexual dreams, but the emotion involved in them. I try to wake up and when I finally do, I fall asleep only to relive the same dream over again. Like there is a point or a message to it all.
I know what my heart is and I know what my heart feels and what it wants. I would certainly never change the life I have now. Maybe my dreams are a way for me to live the life that I could have if I had made other decisions, but in the dreams, I always end up the same way, hurt and alone.
I hate it when they affect me so.
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A dream I don't recall having for a while involves my teen sweetheart. She has been deceased for a few years, but when I dream of her it is her husband who died. Nothing sexual occurs .. but I am so happy to be with her. My dreams of her are not repeats, I don't believe we are ever in the same place.
Fortunately, my recurring dream subject is a good one, and the dreams are happy ones.
In my dreams, I always leave my husband for my first love. My first love wants me back and I think everything is going to be wonderful and then it isn't.
In my confusion I hurt Michael, the person I love the most and I am, in the end, left alone.
And it's always raining.
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