A bad case of writer's block

For a couple days now I have been overwhelmed by on goings in my life. If I posted they would have been long rants about people that should remain nameless. Consumed by work, I have not been able to think of anything else. So I decided to post about what has been sooo consuming.
Plain and simple, my client is stupid. Maybe more than stupid. I do home loans and sometimes you go through a rough patch in the market. The people buying houses right now should kiss the earth and thank the lord they have a place to live, let alone own.
This guy has had to be the dumbest person I have ever tried to get own a home. He wanted the home badly, but no matter how hard I tried to get him to turn in his paperwork, it seemed to be to hard. He would return my calls every other day and there seemed to be one surprise after another. Then the jaw dropper, I was getting him into a government loan and found out that he hadn't filed taxes in YEARS!!! He had 1 day to get it done. I was surprised that it penetrated his brain that the deadline was Tuesday. He did say that after he realized I was going to kill him he learned a big lesson. I had to ask...."what was that?"
"Don't screw with the IRS or you could land in jail" ..Wow..being the manager of a bank I thought he would have known that!

The Hoff CREEPS me out

Updated 09/27
I don't normally get too caught up in celebrities, But David Hasselhoff really freaks me out. #1 Who was the dumb broad that though THIS guy, out of all the celebrities out there, was hot? He is and always has been a creepy old guy. Even on Bay Watch. He was a creep old guy...mmm k!

Yesterday there were reports that his young daughter made an attempt on taking her life. Some how the deets of her attempted suicide were made public. The Hoff reported that her mother is awful and she "cut" herself as a means to escape the stress of her parents divorce. Now today, turns out, the mother reported that the Hoff made all that crap up as a publicity ploy and a ploy to make her out to be a bad mother, when in fact their daughter had merely been scratched by their cat.
I don't care how nasty a divorce gets... keep your kids out of it people! That kinda crap makes me sick. That is when social services needs to get involved.
A little funny for you:
http://www.esquilax.com/baywatch/
This site is called David Hasselhoff is the Anti-Christ. It is really funny. It goes so far as to point out that the letters in David Hasselhoffs name spell "Fad of the Devils hash! Whatever that means, it's funny.
Quotes from the Hoff:
"I'm good-looking, and I make a lot of money."
"There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me."
"I'm six foot four, an all-American guy, and handsome and talented as well!"
"Before long, I'll have my own channel -- I'll be like Barney."

Exuse me while I throw up!

My conversation with Hubby..

Conversation begins with me :
"Hunny"
"uh huh"
" Do you remember when my last period was?"
long pause... "No, do you"
"No, I don't"
eerie silence for me.. unconfortable silence while sweating profusly for him.

Two days later I still had no answer, until I finally broke down and took a test at the request of my friend who is trying to get pregnant. There was only 1 pink line. For those of you out there that have never taken a test, it means not pregnant.
So the following conversation with hubby took place about an hour ago.
Me..."I'm not pregnant"
Him... "Are you mad at me?"

How sweet. But what could he be thinking that I would be mad at him. Afterall, we decided that the next pregnancy would be planned. If I was pregnant, it wouldn't be planned.
So why is it then, I really feel like crying.

They seriously have a website for that!!!

www.MyBitchyWife.com

If your woman frustrates you with her God-given ability, and just flat out makes no sense at times you're in the right spot! Share your stories of how they frustrate you, and your come-backs that can never be said!

Oh my goodness...I can't believe this site.

Men write in to bitch about their wives because they can't find their balls that have been handed to them on a platter and shoved down their throat by their...eh hem... bitchy wives.

I know that sometimes I can be a little wench, but at least my man has the sense enough to communicate his feelings with me. I truly think that, that is where many spousal problems come from..especially the male side of things. Men do not like to talk about their "feelings". Sometimes it makes them feel less manly... so what, does logging on this site make you feel special???

Listen to this advise this one guy gave:

Can the guys here go to their closets and find their balls!! Seriously!!! WTF!! Women need to be put in their place, the sooner you realize this the better. They will never admit it but be happier for it.

I would like to see any man TRY to put me in my place!!! What kind of reality are these fucktards living in? And by the way... logging online and having an open whine fest, doesn't help your cause any, are you sitting behind your computer with a bottle of wine and some Celine Deon playing in the background. Eh Hem!

Then there is a joke section to the site..

Examples

Rules Women Need to Know

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.

2. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Advice for Women

1. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.

2. Sunday = TV Sports.

My favorite

You Might Be a Women if you...

1. Whine

yeah uh... who's whining???

He said WHAT?

I guess you would have to meet my dad to understand my dad. He is a tall quirky looking man with a gigantic nose, graying hair, imperfect posture and a beer belly. You can tell what type of guy he is also by my Maryjane post( http://youknowwhaterksme.blogspot.com/2006/08/my-past-with-maryjane.html )

Dad was telling me that he had to take his new dog to the vet to get the ol' snip snip. I guess it was a lucky day for the rascal because when dad called the vet, the assistant informed him that he was no longer a welcome client. Astonished, he asked why. She replied that there was a mark in his previous file stating that he was cruel to animals and written in parenthesis mention "bullet".

My father couldn't help but laugh hysterically, which if you new his laugh, it's funny in itself, kinda like the Rocky & Bullwinkle Moose cartoon. What happened.... Well dad went in to put down a violent cat. He inquired about the cost of the procedure (did I mention he is broke poor) and the vet said like over $100. My dad scooped the cat up in his arms and I quote ...blurted out "F*** that... a bullet is cheaper". The vet ran screaming after my dad telling him he couldn't do such an inhume thing and as my dad pulled off he blurted out again. "Watch Me!"

3 years later, the Vet still remembers, and now Dad is stuck with a dog that humps the couch leg, his leg, the table leg..so on and so on.

An update on the mean cat...turns out Dad found a mean lady that wanted a mean cat and they lived happily ever after!