YOU KNOW WHAT ERKS ME

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

You know what erks me...The Penis Debate!!!










Wow...I am sooo jealous. Not saying my man has a little prick, but could you imagine???

Of course I posted this as a joke, but let's analyze ..Is it the size that matters? Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no. Is it the motion of the ocean? Well duh, that helps. Or is it something else?

I had a boyfriend in the Navy once. He was so beautiful. One of those "I just want to eat you all up" kind of men. A couple of weeks went by and I thought it was time to eehh hem! I went exploring and "OH NO!!!" to my dismay, my pinky was bigger then this stub! But I gave it a chance and needless to say, our relationship didn't work out.

Then I had another boyfriend. We fought all the time. Another beautiful male specimen. I was with him for eight years. The sex was unbelievable! (see picture above) This was my man's penis. Eight years. Was there anything else to it or was it just the sex? Towards the end, it was the sex.

But then again, I had another boyfriend with a huge one....But driving the car was like driving a Saturn through the rocky mountains. Bad Bad BadA total no no!! We had no connection at all. Most of the time he annoyed me.

I had one other boyfriend. He was my pot smoker lover. His penis was ...a little bigger than the navy guy. But because I already had invested feelings in this relationship, I didn't run from the room screaming. I didn't want to be rude! (lol) But I never knew people could really do it like rabbits. Not because rabbits do it all the time, but have you ever seen a rabbit doing it. They hump really, really .....really...fast. Therefore, he did it like a rabbit.

Now my hubby, he is neither small nor enormous. Maybe we will say his porridge is just right. Sometimes the sex is awesome, sometimes not so much, but I am sure he could say the same for me. Time, work, stress & baby make for 5 minute get it in sex. But there are those moments when ...Whew I get outta breath! I heard that's how it goes when your married. But no matter how gratifying or ungratifying the "get it in sex" is....I sure do love him. And I'd do it again and again and again! Maybe there is something to that!

So does penis size matter? Comments please.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know what irks me? People who can't spell irk.

Ellie said...

you know what really pisses me off, this is the second time you left a stupid comment anonymous...and you didn't read the top of the blog explaining the spelling of erk. so please shut the f*** up...thanks. -ellie

Roonie said...

Too small or too big is the only time when size matters, if you ask me. The rest of the time, it's how you use it.

Red House said...

Dunno, I've been told I'm large by most girls that I've been with.

Maybe I am, maybe I'm just average. I do know that sometimes my wife and I have problems getting it in, because of my size. Which can be really annoying at times. She's told me that one of her boyfriends in the past was slightly bigger than me, and that they hardly ever did it b/c it hurt too bad for her. She also said that his family doctor told him he was abnormally large.

Either way, sex with my wife is the best sex I've ever had. And I think that comes from the rest of the relationship, not just the size of my schlong. :)

Kel said...

I think that if it's too big or too small then all bets are off. Although I think I'd have to try them out to know for sure. Maybe there is something to be said for how they wiggle their worm.

Thanks for stopping by my blog and good luck to you too in our battle.

MIL's just suck....hopefully we'll be better ones for our children. :)

michele said...

Came here through BE,
interesting reading.
Stop by for a visit.

Simon said...

Hi Ellie.
Came here through your post on my blog.
Liking your blog a lot, and who gives a shit how you spell "erk" ... you can call it a Trademark or something.

I'll be back!

Simon.

michele said...

That picture has ouch
written all over it.

Garnish said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.