YOU KNOW WHAT ERKS ME

Monday, May 22, 2006

Horny Dancers really piss me off!


I have not been to a club or a bar since I had my baby 19 months ago. I was actually really nervous to go out dancing b/c I don't look like my pre-baby self. I went out for my girlfriend's bachelorette party. (Yay Ang!)
#1 rule when you go clubbing is to look after your girls.... Girls go together, stay together, dance together and leave together...and most of all protect each other from the "Horny Dancer". I am sorry guys, but no matter how you are dancing ...you don't need to get a hard on! Story....One of our girls was getting hounded by a dirty dancer and gave the "help me look" so I promptly moved in to dance with her and change places. Normally the guy gets the hint and backs off...No not this guy..he was like " All right ..I am in a threesome!" Then he grabs my hips and presses his sharp object againts my ass and starts grinding. I didn't know how to react. I never before experienced such a prominent...uh ... feature. I just screamed ...EEEWW!! He says "whats wrong baby, every guys got one...!" Well I have milky breast you don't see me squirting people with them! I politely shouted, "yeah my husband has one and a big shot gun ...wanna see it?" I guess he got the point then.

Got to tell you about the nasty girl at the club. We were in AdamsMorgan, DC in a club called Heaven & Hell. The bathroom was disgusting. You were tip toeing hoping not to have your toes touch the little nasties floating on the floor. It was a "you better hover" situation. We were in line waiting to use the facility when some chick comes walking out barefoot!!! BAREFOOT!!!! OMG!!! I couldn't help it , I was like "Hello Britney, nasty!" She probably got herpes on her feet. It was so gross!

Highlight of the evening was the end. We had stickers from the bachelorette party labeling men! Worst dancer, biggest dork, best bicepts, best overall, sexy shoulders..ect. When I looked around the club, or tried dancing with someone, the black lights highlighted all these stickers on like every single guy in there. It was soooo funny. The good stickers were prominently displayed by the men, the dork stickers were secretly placed on the back. But one guy wore his with pride..it was the "Worst pick up line" He was the guy who hit on the bride to be ...in the bathroom line! Way to go guy!!!

Congrats Ang on your wedding, I love you, and I had a night to remember Saturday! Kisses sweet heart!

6 comments:

fourth_fret said...

that's pretty funny. protecting friends from the horny dancer. heh. good luck to you too!

Aidana said...

LOL... Horny dancers do such!... your blog gets my vote today on BoB...

Aidana
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Stoopidgirl said...

I use to work at a night club so all of this brings back memories. My sister came in once and convinced me to dance with her when the same type of guy came up, grabbed my hips from behind and started grinding his (ahem) livelyhood into my behind. I turned around, grabbed both sides of his face with my hands and leaned into him practically touching our noses together and said "Oh hi, I just wanted to see who was grinding their d!ck into my @ss!!!"...he slinked away.

Red House said...

Sounds like a blast!!

RedHouse

sunkingpoet said...

Hilarious. Great post!

Blage said...

Great post! Horny men in general really erk me as well, wherever they are. Old ones, young ones, it is a huge turn off.
Sounds like you had a great time at the party though.