Thursday, March 06, 2008

Oh Turd!

I drove home last night from work...listening to my 3 year old scream at me and stuff. Then walked through the door, to a nice fragrant "umm what is that smell?..." I freshened the house with flower stuff the night before but THIS...THIS does not smell like flowers.

I walk into the living room on my beautiful white shag rug, there is a turd. Not just any turd... a dog turd.. not just any dog turd.. a MASSIVE, held it in for 3 weeks till it got mushy and soft, sat there for an hour and took a massive dump on the beautiful white shag rug...kinda turd.

I flipped out. I kicked all 3 , yes I am that stupid to have 3 dogs, outside in the cold, tried cleaning it only to find I had no carpet cleaner left. Had to pack both kids in the car again, drag them to Walmart and listen to my son scream at me the entire way there. Had to fight with my son in the store b/c he kept throwing himself on the floor. Finally I told him I am going to drag you if you fall to the floor again. My promise was kept..then some old bag sat there shaking her head at me with her jaw to the floor..."Hey Old Bag... YOU try this at home, then come and tell me I am wrong and while your at home..clean up the dog crap for me!"

Get home, Hubby is there. He begins to clean the rug. It takes him and hour. He calls to me "Elnora I need a fresh nose"
So I go and drag my nose across the carpet, you know where the dog just took the massive dump, to see if I could still know, the turd... I only smelled carpet cleaner. I turned to hubby and threw my arms around him and kissed him..tongue and all.

He said that if all it took was cleaning up a little shit to get a little action, he would change jobs.

I had been in tears all night, I just thought I would throw a little appreciation my husbands way!


Jahooni said...

are you trying to out do me on the carpet issue???
3 effin' dogs, 3 kids and 1 husband!

omgosh, do you want to come to cali for a vaca? lordy. ;)~

walmart = sickness for everyone.

Ellie said...

Trust me.. I wish I wasn't outdoing you..and with all your recents... I consider myself blessed. Turds and all.

I hope all is well in Jahooni world today! of my many favorite places. I was engaged on Catalina Island. My Aunt live on the beach in OC, my other Aunt in the Hills of San Diego, and my Cousin in LA... So many reasons to hop on a plane

Nikky said...

Sorry about the turd, glad you have a sweet man to clean it up for ya!
((good boy!))
that's for your hubby!

Woozie said...

Wow, you had a shitty day.

Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Slick said...

Geeezus Ellie, I'm gonna walk around with some carpet cleaner in my hands all day long and see if it helps me with my wife.

Thanks for the tip!! ;)

RWA said...

That is the primary reason I have never had - and never will have - a dog, cat or any type of pet that might relieve itself indoors.