When did I get so old

31. That's it... not a big number.
But yet, I feel like my body aches all the time, I am tired all the time, I just want to cuddle up, snuggle and rest.

I remember the days when 10 o'clock came around, my tummy would get all twisted in knots b/c I was about to go out and rock it all night with my bff. Who knows who we would run into, fight with, dance with, flirt with or hook up with. It was all so exciting.

I also remember the 2am knocks on the window of a certain someone...

Now I shuffle the kids around, turn out the lights, lock the doors and go to sleep. I think the most action I get is watching Nip/Tuck on television. (Damn C. Troy is sexy)

Sometimes I have these crazy dreams. I am my age but in my 23 year old body. I think that I try to keep this site R rated, anything beyond that I keep to myself and savor through out the day. (or roll over and give my husband a little sumin sumin)

Never thought of it that way

Bloomberg To Announce Bare-Bones, Doomsday Budget

After reading the above article, something dawned on me....all this time I kept saying to myself "what do I pay taxes for?", (Especially when unemployment denied my claim).

I never thought that with the millions of jobs lost, that is billions of tax revenue lost. With unemployment at a record high, I can't imagine what that does to government spending and the security of government jobs.

It's all a trickle down effect. The local store can't keep up shop, you see him go out of business. What you don't see is the management company going under b/c they can't rent his space, or the bank taking the hit b/c he couldn't make the mortgage.
You see the local bakery go under, not the hurting farmer that can't sell his product to the baker anymore. so on and so on.

My dad once said to me that he had just bought tons of ground beef. I asked why so much ground beef, isn't that bad for you? "yeah Elnora, but it's cheap and I can't make so many things out of it, cheap gets me through these days".

Now when I go to the store, it's nothing but shopping for deals, penny pinching, buying nothing but the store brand. I realize this is how it was when I was younger, this is how it is now. But now there is more to understand, and it makes me humble.

This is kickass!

SOOOO
you know that article two posts down about Obama and change....yada yada...

well my local paper picked it up and published it this week!

How freakin cool is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The hardest conversation I've had

So in the midst of losing my job, I had to have one of the hardest conversations with my son that I have ever had.

One of Tyler's Teachers died suddenly.
Mrs. Janice. Tyler's first 'teacher friend' at school passed away due to the malpractice of some careless doctors.

He put his head in my lap and said "Mommy, I'm sad."

He didn't understand why God took her away and why, when God makes her all better, why she couldn't come back again.

It wasn't a conversation I had expected to have with him so early. I certainly never thought that I would have to tell my son a teacher of his died.

I can't say it was easy.

Can you spare a little "Change"

So it was only a little over a week ago that I lost my job.
It made me sick to my stomach facing a possible nightmare. What would I do if I couldn't find work? How would I provide for my family? What if my kids get sick? How long would our savings last us?
I thought that this would never happen to me, my job is secure. Then the owner of the company just walks in and says .."Ha fooled you!"

I'm just a little person though. Low man on the pole. It sickened me watching the news and seeing the reporter camped out in front of the owners mansion trying to get a statement. A statement that the low man on the pole deserved but wouldn't get. I guess some people think it's okay to break the backs of the people who helped you get where you are today.

We are about to witness a defining moment in history. Barack Obama, the President elect, is going to be the next President, the first Black president of the United States. There is no doubt it's exciting. Change is on the horizon....right?

I don't know...the first defining moment of Barack Obama's presidency is the inaugeration. So many outlets are focusing on what his speech is going to be about, but I can't get my mind past the bill.

No not Bill Clinton, the actual inaugeration bill. There are reports that this inaugeration is costing an estimated $170 MILLION.

Our country is on the verge of collapse. Banks are failing, car makers are failing, small business owners are failing, mortgage companies are failing, the average American is failing.

People are losing their life savings,their cars, thier family pets, their businesses and their homes. How can Barack Obama justify $170 million dollars on a few parties?
How does this get overlooked?

I get it...it's an historical moment. yada yada yada... I'm not saying don't celebrate, it's the President's right to be sworn in and celebrate it. It's great to unify the parties with celebration, but how do you explain that to the homeless person, or the family that just lost their home, or the family that just lost their home and medical benefits that has a sick child, explain it to the person that had to lay off their entire staff and close their business, explain it to the school that just shut off school sports programs b/c they can't afford it, explain it to millions of California residents that won't get their tax refunds b/c there is no money.

Change was the promise.
You would think that during these times and the times we face ahead, Barack Obama could spare a little "change".

What are you playing with?

Dog runs out of the house...balls start to freeze, so he runs right back in after his quickie pee.

I go upstairs to take an online survey...shit I can win $500 bucks, why not right?

boom! Boom! BOOM! What the hell is that noise? (Ignore it El, the dog will get bored.)

knock! Boom! shuffle shuffle...knock boom!

Damn it dog...***So I go downstairs...all the lights are out so it's really dark. I'm trying to save the moolah by turning the lights out... so squinting I see Coop is playing with something on the couch.

"Dude..get off my couch...what the hell is that?" (It was shoved in the cushions)...'Damn dog your breath is kickin' ..get away from me!
What is in the cushion..wooo that's cold, but squishy, like melting ice, or...(Stupid me I sniff it)....AAAAAHHH WHAT THE F*** DOG!!!!!!!!!

Apparently Cooper decided to pick up a frozen shit brick outside and make it his or bedtime snack!

No matter how much I wash, my hands can't get clean enough...and DAMN>>>>MY COUCH!!!!!!!

Blessed

It's hard to believe that in this economy, in my field, that I was able to find work so quickly.
I start Friday.

I have taken a $1000 annual paycut, but hey, I'm not complaining.

I met the bunch I am going to be working with, the owner of the company, the CEO, and I couldn't be more excited. My LO's are coming aboard too.

Get this, they might be moving into our old office space. I probably won't get my cushy office back, but its a small price to pay for job security.

I think that it's nothing short of God's work.

So this is how it went down. Sunshine Mortgage Corp.

So Wednesday night I get to work. The rate sheets come out. Something strange, no locks for 60 days. Wow...we are in the best market in 2 years and the rates for OUR company are crap. We all go home wondering what was happening.

Around 8 pm I get a call... Elnora, Ted shut the company down. "What?" I stood in the hall trying to get a grip. I just lost my job...not just me, but every employee of Sunshine Mortgage and Madison Mortgage just lost their jobs. Hundreds of people with no warning, no notice.

And the kicker,,,no back pay. That's right, the owner of the company wanted to keep us all working until next Friday when we all realized our paychecks didn't come. The CEO's of the company resigned on spot and started making calls.

What happenend? A company that made 52 million a week?

The only thing I have to go on is rumors. Rumors that the owner, TED TERRY, couldn't make payroll..or could but wanted to cash his chips in and fuck everyone else. Rumors that his builder's business was tanking and he was funneling the losses into Sunshine's bottom line.

What ever the rumor, not paying us is illegal, not giving us 60 days notice under the ward law, is illegal, and I am sure there is something else going on that is illegal. So Monday morning it is my resolve to contact the Atlanta Prosecutor's office and try to budge them into an investigation. White Collar crimes can be icky.

Now I just pray that my family and the hundreds of families affected by this awful tragedy can survive. It's a cold winter my friends. Very Cold.

Anyone find out anything more for me, I will be extremely grateful.

http://ml-implode.com/imploded/lender_Sunshine&MadisonMortgageCorp_2009-01-08.html

Wow.
I lost my job yesterday.
I think this will be the last post for quite some time.

This is no way to lose your pants!

If this would have happened to me... I would of shit myself, hopefully after I put my pants back on!

So... Speaking of self conscience

This is me, 2001, only 7 years ago

Well, ya know Nikky speaking of feeling ick blah....
my friend ran into an old flame of mine. I actually wouldn't call him a flame..he was a hold me over till something better comes along type of boyfriend.

I knew him for about a year. And in those days.. I must admit I was smokin'. He constantly wanted to date me. So after a year and a few shots of tequila, I decided to give him a shot. Then the big moment came (pardon the pun), dude humped like a rabbit. I just couldn't deal. I dated him a little longer, and then Michael asked me on a date. Brian was a bad habit in a heart beat.
Don't get me wrong, he was a sweet guy, Head wrestler at UMCP so very buff, just he and I...not a pair.

So she tells me he is the same plus about 50lbs or more, and I thought, I wonder if he asked about me. Turns out he didn't but oh well. Then I thought, oh God, what would I have done if I ran into him.

What would I do if I ran into any ex's. Most likely run. I ran into my first love a few years ago. I had been up since 4 am with my father in the hospital, just had a baby, and looked like a truck hit me. As soon as I saw him, I took off. Didn't even have the balls to say hello.

I was so embarrassed to be seen looking the way I do now. But why?, I'm happy, in love, successful and living a good life. But I just sit back and recall how I used to look. ( I will scan a photo later)

So this is my motivation 2009... I am going to get in shape and go looking to accidentally run into someone. And my boobs... nothing a little Vicky Secret can't fix!

What goes up must come down

So I was in the shower this morning thinking to myself...wow... My tits used to be so perky.
I could go out to a club and no even wear a bra, those baby's would stand up on their own, perfect and plump!

Now, I can go down the stairs without feeling them flap against my skin. While I still think that my boobs are very pretty, and my husband certainly finds my post pregnancy ta ta's a thrill, I can't help but long for the days the ladies were wild and free.

I guess everything comes down in the end.

Hopefully the Butt isn't taking notes.