Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Golden Years

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a
jaybird fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered "Let's relive some old times."Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
Hubby and I were joking about the golden years the other night. The topic of changing our diapers came up and quickly disappeared. I wonder if we were scared to talk about it, grossed out, or just un-prepared. I know that my grand-father took care of everything for my grand mother, even when her mental capacities had failed and her physical condition deteriorated. The day he died, he had several mild heart attacks at home b/c he refused to leave the house until an ambulance had picked up his wife. Then he went to the hospital and passed from one more major heart attack that night. That is love.

I wonder how many of us have actually thought about 'those' years to come and have begun preparing for it. Hubby says it's depressing to talk about wills and estates and the placement of our children...but if you don't do it..the same thing will happen that happened to my family. & days after my grandfathers death my grandmother passed away. You see, she suffered from Alzheimer's and had to be told every few hours that her husband passed away. Her heart was broken. One thing, my grand parents forgot to divide assets. My grieving family had to deal with the tax man knocking on their doors a week later to take inventory of my grand parents things.
I think a little planning might not be a bad idea.

ps. the pic is of my mother's parents.


Nikky said...

My husband and I have been forced to give this some thought, when deploying, soldiers are required to have a will prepared.
It was not a fun time, and we actually disagreed on the child placement issue.I wanted my brother to get my kids if JP and I both died, he wanted his sister to get them. I'm not saying my husband is a homophobe, but it is curious, don't you think? That he'd pick his sister, who is on hubby #3 and did horribly raising her own children over my brother who is in a loving monogamous relationship, albeit with another man.
Anyway, I won, Steven and Mark get them!
But yeah, it's not a fun conversation to have, but it really does have to be done.

Ellie said...

The children placement thing is HUGE Nikky. My mother in law hates the fact that I would choose my sister to have my children. My sis is a bit of a religous nut. But I know that she would raise my children close to how I would. Michael has 3 siblings and I have 4. My brothers are too young. Michael's brother is historically irresponsible, his one sister is in a troubled marriage, I would like to think that his other sister would be a great fit, but it is her husband I would worry about. I think when it comes time to decide where our children went, we would have to sit down with both my sister and his and have a discussion. I want my children to stay together, but I also want them to recieve the love that I would give them.

Nicole said...

What a beautiful picture Ellie!

Blogger FINALLY let me post here!!!
I was beginning to feel unwanted!!! lol

Yes, even though it is uncomfortable, it is important to get this all straightened out "incase".
If something happens to us, the kids go to my mother. She knows our standards and loves them as much as we do.
It also helps that my son just turned 15 and my daughter will be 13 in May, so they aren't helpless babies.

Ellie said...

We thought of our parents too, but, what if they are old and we pass away. I want my kids not to be shuffled ever again.

Nicole said...

Yes, you definitely have to keep that in mind.
My mother just turned 59 2 weeks ago, so she is not too old.
Plus like I said, my kids are in the teen years. 3 years and my son graduates grade 12 and could move out if he wanted.

Hubby's mom is disabled so they are out. I would totally not do that to my kids, my poor daughter would be taking care of them.
My one brother lives on the West coast and is just starting his family, nephew is 2 and the next one hatches on the 16th of April and my other brother is not even up for consideration. He will be 33 this year and it would be like sending them to live with the jackass crew.
So, my Ma is the BEST option for our kids.

e.Craig said...

I'm reminded of the movie, "Raising Helen", with Kate Hudson and Joan Cusack. Great flick.

Wills and child custody issues can involve really tough decisions, not to mention hurt feelings, disagreements, and even family feuds. My hat is off to any couple who can realize the neccessity of preparing for something this unpleasant to deal with.

I, like many Americans, never had the foresight.

Ellie said...

Ecraig... you watched Raising Helen.. a chick flick... You really are the perfect man!


e.Craig said...

Anyone can make a movie with special effects and gratuitous violence, and I do love watching 'em now and then.

But, it takes real talent to make one with heart, soul and substance. I confess, I've watched that movie twice. The movie I'm really a sucker for is "The Parent Trap", which I've probably watched a half dozen times. I'm a big Dennis Quaid fan, and love Lindsay Lohan as a child actor. I must have a hormone imbalance; I get choked up every time I watch that flick.