Friday, May 02, 2008
The worst fashion trends (that I have worn)
You know you all have committed fashion crimes.
I think the worst fashion crime I have ever committed... Shoulder Pads.
Who thought that woman actually looked feminine walking around dressed like 80 year old football players. I know why women stuffed their bras, but their shoulders... I don't get it. I really had no choice though, every shirt at Lerners, Gap or where ever, had shoulder pads sewn in. If you tried to rip them out, you would get little holes on the seems.
The next, jelly bracelets, tons of them. I don't know what the point of walking around with 20 multicolored rubber bands on my arm was, but it was cool at the time. Now in the 21st century, they have color codes for sex!! I can't believe that!! The codes are below.
Yellow - indicates the wearer is willing to HUG
Pink - indicates the wearer is willing to give a hickey
Orange - indicates the wearer is willing to KISS
Purple - indicates the wearer is willing to kiss a partner of either sex
Red - indicates the wearer is willing to perform a LAP DANCE
Green - indicates that ORAL SEX can be performed on a girl
Clear - indicates a willingness to do "whatever the snapper wants"
Blue - indicates ORAL SEX performed on a guy
Black - indicates that the wearer will have regular "missionary" sex
White - indicates the wearer will "FLASH" what they have
Glittery Yellow - indicates HUGGING and KISSING is acceptable
Glittery Pink - willing to "flash" (show) a body part
Glittery Purple - wearer is willing to French (open mouth) kiss
Glittery Blue - wearer is willing to perform anal sex
Glittery Green - indicates that the wearer is willing to "69" (mutual oral sex)
Glittery Clear - indicates that the wearer will let the snappee "feel up" or touch any body part they want
What about friendship necklaces? The ones where you had half the heart and your best girlfriend had the other half. Then when you didn't want to be friends anymore, one of you would throw the necklace back at the other girl.."you take it bitch!" and there was the end of a beautiful thing.
I'll try to post a pic of me this weekend from the 80's. Watch out for the BIG hair!