YOU KNOW WHAT ERKS ME

Friday, June 29, 2007

Does Size Matter?


I was having such the teenage conversation with my friend last night. It all started by me asking if she remembered the boogie man. (post below) She exclaimed, "I can't remember the last time I talked about shit like this"...it was a who did who, who has a little, who had a big, who was really weird, I can't believe I did..., type of conversation. Just reminiscing about our college days before we were married.
Among the topics....who had a biggie and who was a shortie.
Does it size really matter?
If your a guy, you would like to think you are packing nicely. Face it, girls wonder what they are going to have to work with. Experience (not too much), tells me it is more about communication and knowing what your doing...but let's face it, size is a plus.
Did I actually just write about that?

Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Boogie Man!


Today on the radio they were talking about coming across things at your date's house that make you go eeeew and run! Kane from Hot 99.5 came across a pair of granny panties with skid marks in his dates bathroom. Another man had come across Valtrax (herpes meds) in a bathroom. So I had to call in and share my morning horror story.
I was dating this guy 'Andy'. He wasn't my favorite boyfriend, but my friend Ang said he was a good guy and I should give him a chance. So I gave him a chance. We use to like to go to this bar "Lasicks" in College Park. One night we got shit faced drunk. I couldn't drive home. I didn't want to stay at Andy's, but really had no other choice. So back to his place we went. We had a bit of a make out session and went to bed. Nothing else happened just a bit of kissy kissy and I passed out. When I woke up, the light was shining through the curtains and my head was pounding. As I slowly regained my bearings and my sight became in focus, my eyes befell an unspeakable horror. "I must be dreaming", I thought. No, this nightmare was real. I was face to face with a booger wall. Hundreds of boogers that you couldn't even get off with a paint scraper if you tried, had been stuck all over his wall. As if that was his morning ritual for the last 2 years, to pick his nose and wipe his boogers on the wall next to his bed.
Trying to compose myself and not throw up, I quickly headed for the exit!
Needless to say, Andy had his chance, and unfortunately, dating the Boogie Man, was not on my list of things to do before I died!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Tagged by Nic

10 random things about me....Tagged by Nic

1. I am a hopeless romantic. I don't think that I'll ever get over it. But the smallest gestures could totally send me overboard in adoration. I believe in endless love, shooting stars, and all that jazz.

2. Family is the most important thing in my life. If anyone ever tried to get in the way of my family, I'll knock you flat on your tush. (to put it mildly)

3. One of my biggest fears, aside from death of me or a loved one, is going broke. I always had to work for everything that I have ever had and have accomplished more than I thought I would at my age, but I fear that one day I will have nothing.

4. Pearls are my favorite piece of jewelry. I value them over diamonds and hope one day I might own a Mikimoto to pass down to my daughter.

5. I can't stand the way the government makes decision for me. I can't stand our tax, welfare, social security, or welfare systems. And particularly hate how the government likes to butt in on personal rights issues, such as gay rights.

6. If I could accomplish anything in my life, aside from raising beautiful children, I would like to publish my poetry or children's books.

7. I hate authority if I know that I am smarter than you or have more common sense than you.

8. I secretly wish that I could go back in time and beat up my school bully.

9. I am self conscience about my weight, but know that it is pure laziness that made me not lose it in the first place.

10. This is the tenth one and already I am drawing a blank. Sometimes I wish instead of being a biddy, I could be more like my younger self. More carefree. Go clubbing and throw crazy parties. Dress sexier. But that is the plan..after I stop being #9 and get off my ass to get back in shape.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

My little girl (A Sneak Preview)

Wow.. technology these days. There she is. I can hardly believe I have seen her before she is born. It is an amazing feeling!

Monday, June 25, 2007

"That's not real"

13 year old loses her feet during Six Flags Amusement ride. Article highlights others were screaming, but the young lady was sitting there in shock and calm. FULL STORY

I know what it is like to witness something so horrible.

I was so young. One my way to pick up dinner for me and my hunny at the time. I was driving back so excited to see him. Summer night music going. In my new convertible driving the country road home. When in my head lights a man was crouched in the middle of the road. I swerved sharply to miss him and turned my head in time to see him jump up in front of the headlights of the girl driving behind me.

What just happened? Her car flew across the median onto oncoming traffic and seemed to keep going until it abruptly stopped. I pulled over and ran to her. She was running in circles and her friend on the ground just rocking back and forth. I looked at her car that was almost totaled. I tried to hold her still. "I didn't see him" she cried. I realized then what had happened.
"I didn't either" I held her close as she cried for her mother. I wrapped her in a blanket from my car. "Stay here. I will call her"

It was as if I couldn't run fast enough. The lights to the local gas were close but seemed so far. I could hear my heart pounding in my head and every time my feet hit the pavement it felt like I would fall. Then I found him. A middle aged man, stripped naked, missing his arms and legs. As cars approached I could see his blond hair shining in their lights and then the blood on the road. I screamed and in that instant I heard her scream again from down the road.
I ran into the store begging for an ambulance. "he's been hit, please please call 911, you have to, he'll die" I stood there trembling and waited for them to call. When I knew the call went through, not realizing what happened I said "I am going to hold him until they come" I thought of how scared he must have been.

I ran again up the hill and to the highway. There he was. Laying there in the headlights of another car. "That's not real, that's not real" I muttered. I looked up to see a man running towards me "aw baby...no no no no" his voice became distant as I seemed to float above everything and then everything went black.


Another reason to hate criminals.


As if it weren't bad enough that our tax dollars have to be spent on the criminal process and to house criminals, feed them, bath them, entertain them, and bury them, I realized how much the American has to give to the judicial system this weekend.
Hubby got socked earlier in February with County Jury Duty. Hubby makes a substantial income and even the loss of a day is detrimental to us. Well Friday, he got the state jury summons. He has to call for every Monday in August.
I am terrified they won't let him out of it. The baby is due in August. Say I go into labor, will they get him out of the courtroom. (Not likely). Plus it's in Baltimore, more than an hour from where we live. They put on the notice that they reimburse for gas and mileage, but if you are called and have to stay, you could be there for 4 weeks, plus you have to pay for your own lodging if you are held. WTF???? Like we can afford that!!!!
For the average American, missing even a week of work seriously puts a dent in your pocket.
I call for a new law. Since it is our American duty to serve on a jury, we have to sit there and listen to how some dumb fuck screwed over everyone (unless your innocent okay), we have to take off work, re-arranged our families, drove our tired asses in rush hour traffic into 'beautiful' Baltimore, our employers should have to mandatorily pay us our base pay for our jury duty time. Shit, it's only fair. Every one's gotta give a little right? Why should the jury system potentially bankrupt a family? If my husband lost 4 weeks of work, I don't know how we would make it. If something like that were in place, then I would bet you a million you would have less people trying to get out of jury duty.
I sure hope they let him out of it. I am shaking I am so nervous.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Friday Humor

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father was arather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harboured an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."
Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off yourGPA and give it to yourfriend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I'veworkedreally hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!" The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently,"Welcome to the Republican party."

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Charleston Heros

Remembering Company 19 who lost 9 of their firefighters in one blaze. A truly tragic event. I wanted to take a moment to highlight the faces of these remarkable men. Too many times, thank you's go unsaid. To all our firefighters, Service men and women, polices and emergency staff, Thank you.

The freak at the gynecologist office!

So I had my appointment today at the gynecologist. (Eeew right) I am pregnant so it doesn't mean I am 'examined' every time. I walk in to the check in desk and there is a woman there before me going on and on about how she was robbed. If I could play for you what she sounded like, you would run from the room screaming. It was the most pathetic robbery story I have ever heard, and the most annoying b/c she spoke through her nose and talked really slow. I don't think the receptionist could see me b/c she was a bit large and sprawled out in front of the desk. I finally managed to check in and sit down with my magazine. I was trying to concentrate through her nasal slow slurred speech. Then she was done. From the looks of the back of her I thought she was 80 years old, but then she turned around and it turned out she only used 80 bottles of bleach on her head. She turned around and made her way across the room, close to where I was sitting. I managed to keep my eyes firm in my mag, but the woman next to me mistakenly looked at the whining wench. She sighed and then you here ""Did you hear what I was telling the other lady. How I was robbed by the comcast guy. He took all my Disney pins and $5000 in cash I had in a box. The police looked at me like I was crazy and didn't take me seriously. ...waa waaa waaaaa"She was so fucking loud, her voice was bouncing through my head like a screaming child. I packed my shit up and headed to the other side of the room, being sure to quickly glance over and let her know how annoying she was.
Then as I was sitting there, I noticed, no way was this woman pregnant...she was there for a regular ole visit. That poor gynecologist was going to have to sit there with this crazy woman in stirrups and probably listen to how she was robbed by the Comcast guy.The gynecologists in the back were probably drawing straws in the back!

Monday, June 18, 2007

My Bridge Freak Out

So I took hubby to the beach for the weekend. I don't really enjoy the beach so much when I am pregnant. It's too hot in Maryland.
But the worst part is the trip across the bridge. This time was worse. They are doing some work on the bridge, so they split the lanes. 3 go to the side you would normally go on, and 1 goes on the side of the bridge you would normally drive back home on, so you are facing on coming traffic. Guess which one we went on. I had a panic attack and cried my eyes out the entire way over.
So on our way back home, my 2 year old says to me "Mommy Hold my hand...don't cry mommy..look at all the boats!"
I didn't cry, but I felt a bit silly that my two year old was 'talkin me down'.
But look at this bridge...it is a scary sumkindabitch!

For Nic: Below is the San Fransisco Bay Bridge & a Pic of the Lincoln Tunnel (I took while going through it surrounded by the river.) Two other things that make me cry (Tears of Fears)

Serta the Perfect Sleeper: The Perfect Peice of Crap!

It's a sleeper already...a problem that just sits there and sneaks up on you then goes BAAAMMM HAHAHAHAHHAAA!
Last January we spent $1500 on the Royal Pea. It was a lush King size Serta Mattress that we thought was an investment into quality. We were told we had a 10 year warranty. We weren't provided a copy of the warranty, but thought, okay cool. Well a year and a half later the mattress is sagging in 3 spots. We had Serta come out and measure the sag. But then Serta 6 weeks later told us, we had stains on our mattress that void the warranty.
You cannot sleep in this bed it is so bad. They are trying to blame my son's little 'oops' on the sagging issue and the giant hump in the middle of the bed. Had we known about the stain issue on the warranty, I would have bought a cover. Now $1500 we have to buy a new mattress.
Serta sent me this response
"I'm sorry that you feel the way you do, and I can understand. Although the sagging issue is covered, the stain on the mattress is not. Any stain on the bedding voids the warranty. This is an industry wide standard and not one held solely by Serta. Any fluids, bodily or water, tend to not only stain a mattress, but they can cause damage to the upholstery levels as well. This was made clear in the warranty information which came with the mattress. Stains on the mattress was one of the items which appeared under the section of items which are not covered under the Serta warranty. Any damage done consciously or unconsciously is not covered by our manufacturer's warranty; therefore the warranty becomes void when evidence of stains is found upon inspection. "
I sent this response
That is what I am saying, I was never provided a copy of the warranty. The tag on the mattress says W9 and that is it. There was no way for us to know about the stains. I would have bought a cover had we known. There is no way that you could understand how I feel, so please don’t even try that. You sold me a mattress that is completely useless for $1500. I am out $1500, with a baby on the way and having a high risk pregnancy, this is the last thing I needed to do was shell out another $1500 on a mattress. I have filed a complaint with the BBB b/c we were never given a copy of the warranty. And if the issue is not resolved I will file with Small claims court to get our $1500 back. I am tired of companies, like Serta, selling consumers products that are faulty and then not standing by their product.
Serta is not standing by it’s product in this case. Mattress Warehouse didn’t even care enough to return our calls. Serta didn’t care enough to let me speak to someone over the phone regarding the issue. You bedcheck representative came to our home and told us with this mattress, sagging is the #1 issue and is the most complained about of your mattress’s. With just that information right there, it tells me that Serta sold us a mattress that is faulty, it had nothing to do with the stain on the mattress. It is just a way of getting out of what you owe us as a consumer.
I will not stop this complaint until it has been completely heard. The mattress you sold me is faulty….no getting around it. Period.
"If someone would take take the time and come over to my house and sit on it, I am sure Serta might see it our way. I can’t sleep in my own bed. I can't have sex with my husband in our bed. I can't cuddle with my child and rock him to sleep in our bed. And I don’t have the funds right now to buy a new one. I will never buy from Serta or Mattress Warehouse again. I will be sure to write every detail of this transaction down so that everyone can read about it on the internet. I will follow through with small claims court and the BBB, until someone in your company takes me seriously.
It's sad that your customer service couldn't even give me the courtesy to let me speak with a supervisor even going so far as to say there wasn't one for that department. It's pretty sad that your bedcheck representative told me that your company doesn't care about it's warranty complaints and set me up for the denial before it was even heard.It's pretty sad that your company uses a sanitary excuse when you couldn't resell the mattress in the first place. I hope you can understand that one."

Labels : Serta Mattress Crap

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Is it me, Or does his nose look like a penis?


Just an observation

update on the previous post

Click here to read the full article
This is ridiculous. The state's attorney is appealing the decision to release Genarlow Wilson, which means until it is settled, this young man will remain in prison. I couldn't imagine the emotional roller coaster this boy has gone through. He has a 3.2 gpa in school, was an active member of the community, was college bound, never had been in trouble, when his life was yanked away from him. Too bad under the law, the so called 'vicitm' is protected. I wonder what she would say if questioned.

Story Highlights
• Prosecutors appeal ruling to throw out Genarlow Wilson's sentence
• Appeal means Wilson will stay behind bars
• Judge earlier voided Wilson's 10-year prison term Monday
• Wilson in prison for consensual oral sex at age 17 with 15-year-old girl

Monday, June 11, 2007

Teenage sex & statutory rape

This is Genarlow Wilson, Convicted at the age of 17 for consensual oral sex with a 15 year old. He is 21 and was just freed from prison, from what was originally a 10 year felony sentence. The article can be read here. It seems that there are circumstances surrounding the night in question b/c he and his other friends had sex with a 17 year old and he received oral sex from the 15 yr old. And of course the boys video taped it. So this would appall most parents out there and if we were the parents of the daughters, I am sure a feeling that our children were taken advantage of would overwhelm us. "My little girl couldn't possibly willingly take part in something like that!".
My view is a bit different. At 15 I fell in like with a 19 year old. Our relationship lasted eight years. It ended bitterly, but there was a 4 year age difference the entire time. You think...ewww 15 and 19? But what about 21 & 25? or 22 & 26? The age difference never changed between us. I waited a year to be intimate with him, to be sure it was love (for me at least) and to make sure he wasn't using me. The stretch between 15 & 17...isn't that much. I am not sure as a parent I would want to put away a 17 year old for 10 years and ruin his life over a consensual act. This boys appeal was heard b/c a year after imprisonment, they ammended the law to state that what he did was a misdemeanor.
I know my parents could have put Jason away for our relationship. I know that most people are thinking how wrong it was. But I still don't feel that way, and I would never feel that way about a 15 & 17 year old.If my daughter entered into the same relationship, I would have the same rules as my parents. I have to meet him, he has to be present at our home on a regular basis, and he has to respect the rules. If I find out that they are sexually active, I will deal with that accordingly. I know from experience, you can't stop it, but you can sure steer your children in the right direction and take the steps necessary to protect themselves.
Maybe I am still young. Maybe I am more liberal in my thinking. Maybe I haven't seen how beautiful my daughter will be and impressionable.

What are your thoughts?

I will also try to find out the entire story behind the article. But the main point is should, teenagers be prosecuted for consensual state.
UPDATE
So, turns out, he was convicted for sodomy which also constitutes oral sex. He was also convicted of Child Molestation, which will follow him everywhere for the rest of his life, he will have to register as a sex offender every place he lives.
but convicted him of aggravated child molestation against the 15 year old. The "aggravated" nature of the charge refers to sodomy (oral sex) rather than a mere "immoral or indecent act." Had Wilson had intercourse with the 15 year old and not received oral sex from her, he would have been subject to a 5 year minimum prison term instead of the 10 year minimum term that the judge gave him.
"In 2003, Wilson was a 17-year-old senior at Douglas County High with a 3.2 GPA and football skills that had caught the attention of a several Ivy League schools. He was popular among students and teachers and had been voted Homecoming King. That all changed after a New Year's Eve party during which he received oral sex from a 10th grader. She was 15 and by all accounts the initiator. At the time, Georgia law stipulated that it was "a misdemeanor for teenagers less than three years apart to have sexual intercourse," but a felony for them to have oral sex. Despite the inconsistency in severity of the two laws, Wilson was found guilty of aggravated child molestation, which carried a mandatory decade behind bars. Since then the law has been changed to include oral sex under the misdemeanor category, but the Legislature neglected to make the law retroactive, leaving Wilson stuck in prison for over 27 months."

Friday, June 08, 2007

Paris Hilton Back in jail; This is me jumping on the bandwagon sorry


I think it is easy for anyone of us to say " you do the crime, you do the time". I think it is easy for any one of us to be jealous of Paris Hilton, then again easy for us not to even care. I didn't feel totally sorry for Paris when she first went to jail. And I thought to myself "typical' when she was released. But was releasing her 'her fault'?
What it really right to put her in, pull her out, drag her to court and put her in, again? I think that this judge has a major thing for making a HUGE example out of Paris Hilton. I thought it before, but really didn't care one way or another, but NOW I really think it. I think in some way she was re-punished, for a decision to release her that was made by an official of the state. So was it really right for her to be thrown back in jail as if she was some massive criminal that was a major threat to society. Doesn't the court have more pressing issues to spend our tax dollars on, than attacking someone like Paris Hilton, who probably wouldn't hurt a fly. Just today a woman that was convicted of killing her husband was sentenced to 3 years in prison and the rest of her sentence on probation. 3 YEARS for murder!!!!

Reports are surfacing that the medical condition Paris was suffering from was Claustrophobia. That can be brutal. Not to mention, she had to go through another cavity search. The entire thing is ridiculous to me.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Cheers, Where everybody knows your name

I used to love that show! These are the types of things that would make me watch it!

explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

" Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first . This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

anywhere huh?

So I dropped Ty off from daycare and commented to another mother I loved her daughter's bracelets. She said she brings them back from India. She said she was planning a trip for next year.

My daycare provider goes to Africa once a year. I think that Africa would be my number 1 pick if I could go anywhere in the world. It is a far different culture than Americans think it is. I think it is beautiful.
Then the other mother mentioned India...and I don't know where I would want to go more.

If you had the choice to go anywhere...where would you go?

Monday, June 04, 2007

Where did baby Tyler come from?

So mommy has been trying to teach Tyler where he came from. He knows his baby sis is baking in mommy's belly. So I tried telling him that he came from mommy's belly too. When his daddy asked him later that evening where he came from, Tyler said the following:
Mommy go outside
Ride Daddy tractor and cut the grass
and Tyler Come.

Yesterday his Auntie Ang said..Tyler where did you come from... He got this look like 'here we go again' and sarcastically said..."the tractor ride"...like duh!

OMG!!! Kids say the darndest things!

Paris Hilton gets made fun of AND goes to jail!



I think the look on Jack Nicholson's face is hilarious! I feel slightly bad for Paris, but Hey...she did it, not me!