Be Safe

Wackos start drinking early on New Year's Eve...so be safe.
Me,
I get to curl up in my bed with the flu. Yum

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

just sayin'

I have had several conversations this week w/ people in NC. They want the snow that we have had here in Maryland in exchange, they will give me the beach.
I say....
You can have my snow...and keep your beach...

I don't like water that has fish big enough to eat me....It is just not the natural order of things...
knowwhatimean jelly bean?

Bush Sr. to restore Hillary Clinton's image??? WTF

Okay here is the snip from the article
ORANGEBURG, South Carolina (CNN) – Former President Bill Clinton said Monday that the first thing his wife Hillary will do when she reaches the White House is dispatch him and his predecessor, President George H.W. Bush, on an around-the-world mission to repair the damage done to America's reputation by the current president — Bush's son, George W. Bush.

"Well, the first thing she intends to do, because you can do this without passing a bill, the first thing she intends to do is to send me and former President Bush and a number of other people around the world to tell them that America is open for business and cooperation again," Clinton said in response to a question from a supporter about what his wife's "number one priority" would be as president.
Then I read this:
Elder Bush nixes Clinton trip idea
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Former President George H.W. Bush has shot down his successor Bill Clinton’s idea of a diplomatic mission under a Hillary Clinton presidency that would send him and other notables abroad to assure other nations that “America is open for business and cooperation again.”

The move came one day after Bill Clinton made the suggestion on the campaign trail in South Carolina, in response to a question from a supporter about his wife’s “number-one priority” upon reaching the White House.

In a statement sent to CNN Tuesday afternoon, former President Bush’s chief of staff Jean Becker said that he “wholeheartedly supports the president of the United States, including his foreign policy. He has never discussed an ‘around-the-world-mission’ with either former President Bill Clinton or Sen. Clinton, nor does he think such a mission is warranted since he is proud of the role America continues to play around the world as the beacon of hope for freedom and democracy.

“President Bush is excited about several of the excellent Republican candidates running for president, and looks forward to discussing their candidacy once the Republican nominee is determined.”

So in essence..Hillary was expecting Bush senior to tour the world saying he didn't support his F*** up of a son. What kind of a declaration would that be.. I think that would be the all time of father disapprovals right there. But Hillary and Bill are so stupid to think that Bush Sr. would actually do that. Come on now... Bush Sr. started that war. Who are you kidding.
This is why I hate Democrats...they are such liars and twisters...sorry democrat politicians.
If you think about it, if normal people ruled the country...you know, normal voting tax contributing hardworking average joe people... wouldn't that be neat?
I vote SLICK for Prez.... (go visit him, he's fuuuny) (oh and extremely good looking, I had to throw that in there for slick appeal)
Slick let's here it...what changes would you make as Prez>>>>

All my posts in One

Conversations with hubby part 7

While driving past the Angus farm by our home hubby says:
"It must be cold to be a cow"
"I'm sure...(then I point to one in the field) Look at that one, he is pissing a waterfall" "I bet some of the pee splashes up in his mouth"
"pee where you eat...eat where you pee"
"And if you are what you eat?"
"well if your that cow, you must be pee...and poop"
"So in a sense... We eat cows, cows eat pee pee and poo poo grass, therefore we are pee pee and poo poo grass"
"Imagine what we are when we eat pigs"
"Why?"
"Pigs eat just about everything"
"even meat? Pigs are carnivores?"
"yup..." then he makes a piggy sound
Conversation with my son this morning. Kids sure say the darndest things.
After my son was done going potty this morning, he starts running down the hall..."hey stop stop stop it... MOMMMY!!! Daisy is trying to lick my penis!"
(daisy is our mini pin dog)
He bops daisy on the nose and says "Hey You...don't lick my penis Daisy!"
I had to explain that the dog was just trying to say hello...and was not trying to lick his penis.
It took me everything in my power not to laugh because he was oh so serious.


Chipmunk Update
Okay Nic..here ya go... DON'T GO SEE THAT MOVIE!!! I can't believe I bought a $4 soda that didn't even last the entire movie. The Chipmunks were cute, but I have to say, the cartoon was so much better. You would think that the movie would somewhat appeal to the older generation b/c it is after all the older generation that was probably so excited to take the kiddies. Nope. The parts that had the munks in it were cute, the music was dope, but there were too many scenes with out the munks. And they were boring. No hidden adult humor... the love connection was unreal, and the munks were made out to be just messy, not mischevious.
sigh...I was hoping for so much more.

boooyaa

Don't you just love it when you argue with someone about something...and it turns out later.. you are right? You can answer the question or read on to find out the drama.

I just took over a branch in North Carolina for processing and closing mortgage loans. Their processor was let go and I took her place. My way of doing things is a bit different. I am very cautious and tend to look at a mortgage loan like an underwriter. The manager of the branch has been in a backward way, arguing with me about some things. Then she says "let me call so and so"... well 'so and so' was let go by the company and I have 'so and so's job now, so it doesn't really matter what 'so and so' says. So and so did things the wrong way. I do things the right way. When I get audited...I don'thave the FEDS crashing down my office door screaming at me. I am not a risk to the company. Your clients like me, your realtors appreciate my communication skills and loans are processed and closed with in a week of recieving the file. Not 30+ days like most mortgage companies. So this manager says to me today "we have never done things that way...I will give you so and so's number and you can call her to find out how to do it.' I replied I am sorry , I am not calling her. I realize that she was your processor, was being the operative word, she isn't anymore and this is how I do my loans. You have a responsibility to your clients to follow RESPA guidelines. I can't do it any other way.
Then she tells me I am requiring too much from her borrowers...she goes over my head to ask the underwriter what is required. Turns out what is required is exactly what I said would be.

You mean..Sharpton is being held accountable

For his 'own' actions???? No Way!!! I never thought it could happen....(article below)

Teams of federal agents swooped down on up to 10 close associates of the Rev. Al Sharpton Wednesday, demanding the flamboyant clergyman's financial records since 2001.
Sharpton's former chief of staff said he was roused at his Harlem home about 6:30 a.m. by two FBI agents who handed him a subpoena to bring the records to a federal grand jury the day after Christmas.
Several employees of Sharpton's National Action Network also got wakeup subpoenas to testify before the Brooklyn panel, the rabble-rousing reverend's lawyer said.
The FBI and IRS are investigating whether Sharpton improperly misstated the amount of money he raised during his 2004 White House run to illegally obtain federal matching funds, a source familiar with the probe said.
Sharpton, although forced to return $100,000 in matching taxpayer funds after an investigation two years ago, denied any wrongdoing at the time.
The feds are also looking into allegations of tax fraud, including whether Sharpton commingled funds from his nonprofit National Action Network with several of his for-profit ventures, the source said.
Lawyer Michael Hardy shrugged off the probe, which sought a vast array of business, political and personal records, as a federal fishing expedition.
"I can't think of a time when the Rev. Sharpton wasn't under investigation," he said.
Sharpton was not among those subpoenaed in the synchronized sweep of friends and employees. "It was like a sting or a raid," said Carl Redding, who spent eight years as the head of Sharpton's staff. "They converged on everybody."
As many as 10 people were subpoenaed, Redding said. The court papers also sought a wide range of financial records, from invoices of expenses paid by cash to cash receipts to bad debt records from the years 2001 to 2007.
Sharpton's quixotic run for the Democratic presidential nomination has raised questions of financial impropriety - including charges that he spent campaign funds on swanky hotels.
In April 2005, Sharpton denied allegations that he failed to report tens of thousands of dollars in campaign cash to the Federal Election Committee.
Sharpton's associates were summoned to testify before the grand jury on the morning after Christmas. The subpoenas additionally called for them to provide the IRS with all financial records from the campaign and a half-dozen Sharpton-related businesses.
Personal finance records from Sharpton and his wife, Kathy, were also sought by investigators.
A Sharpton spokesman said the reverend, who pleaded guilty in 1993 to a misdemeanor for failure to file a tax return, would assist with the probe.
"What I would tell you is that what the National Action Network has done, and will continue to do, is cooperate and comply," said Charlie King, a spokesman for the network.
Redding, a restaurateur, said he was surprised by the subpoena, because he left his position as Sharpton's chief of staff in 1998.
"They wouldn't tell me what the investigation was about," Redding said.

highlights

What are the highlights of your holidays going to be this year?
One of mine ..taking my son to see the Chipmonk movie. Geesh I used to love those little buggers...
and as always, seeing my son's face light up this Christmas morning and having my new daughter with us as well. Hopefully she will understand that gifts are for her too and she will be all spits and giggles.

Let's Vote

Just out of curiousity...
How many of you think that the AIDS virus, was man created?

**********************************************

Okay, so this woman, Wangari Maatha of Kenya, says that the AIDS virus was a lab created virus made by a sadistic scientist to wipe out the black race. "Although I am a biologist, I have not done any research. I may not be able to say who developed the (HIV) virus but it was meant to wipe out the Black race,"

Her direct quote " With that I think she lost all credibility, and this woman won the Nobel Peace Prize

Then there is Christian Anders who wrote the book 'The Man W.H.O created AIDS'

he concluded that AIDS is a man-made disease, bio-engined in cancer-virus laboratories and injected into gays and blacks.

WHO stands for World Health Organization

There are theories that state that AIDS started with Smallpox vaccine. The vaccine was contaminated and given to Africans in the small pox vaccine and eventually given to gays. I am not sure how the two go hand in hand. But the theory claims it was a bio-warfare experiement that became out of hand. But what I wonder is, if they injected it, wouldn't they have a cure for it? They wouldn't seriously inject something they could accidently contract, if they didn't have a cure. right?

So second question

Do you think that the government is with holding a cure for AIDS?

Find a list of theories here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AIDS_conspiracy_theories

Monday Humor

It took me all night...(burp)...but I finally got the x-mas tree up!

Sad day for many...No so much for haters

Picture courtesy of Perez Hilton .com According to the article I read this morning... Congress dropped the current hate crimes bill that would include gays because it was clear the bill wouldn't pass the house. Well why not try. Nothing is a sure bet. If they tried to push it through the house it could have gone. It seems to me that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. What? just b/c someone is gay they deserve less rights? That is what this says to me. It says to me that gays aren't as important....
The 'educated' me has to sit back and ask why and then run down the possible list of reasons. Hubby and I were talking about it, and I guess it would be hard to prove someone attacked you because you were gay. They would have to prove they knew you were gay. But the heart in me says there are clear cases of gay hate crimes and I think it is worth it to try to push the bill through. I might be over anylizing this, but it's important to me. Equal rights are important to me.
Hate is Hate. If you were attacked... anyone...it should be a hate crime. I don't understand the bill itself. Under current legislation, it says you can't be attacked b/c of race, religion, color or national orgin. So what if you were attacked b/c you were wearing orange shoes...? Well the attacker hated your shoes ..so why not charge them with a hate crime. They could bash your head in, break your arms and legs b/c of your shoes, and that would be different than if they bashed your head in, broke your arms and legs because of the color of your skin. How is one worse than the other is all I am asking. Attacking someone is attacking someone. Maybe if the laws were stricter all the way around people would stop hurting each other. I don't know, I know we don't live in a perfect world, and I know that hate crimes exist...I just think attack crimes should be treated just as harsh. I hope you understand what I am saying. But we don't have statutes like that...so we have to go with the Hate Crimes Bill, and it pisses me off to no end that sexual orientation is not apart of that bill. So I guess if Dick Cheney's daughter was attack b/c she was gay...it would be treated as any other assault...I think not.
Lawmakers are such bitches!!!!

Transgender children

It was a topic on The View...
Now a days, parents are more likely to buy thier little boys kitchen sets and dolls to play with if the boy asks for them and if a little girl likes GI Joes, so be it, she gets a GI Joe...
But when your children..example your boy, starts dressing like a girl, and it becomes clear he might be transgender...what do you do? How do you react?

My thoughts.. I have no clue. Being gay has become more and more acceptable but transgender??? I don't want my child to be humiliated and teased. But then again, when they grow older, they will probably face the same ridicule. So do you prepare them for it now? I don't see the need to make your child feel dirty b/c of the choice. I think as a parent it needs to be explained to your child b/c they are probably a bit confused about their feelings.
But when do you start?

I have a brother that is gay and I am not going to say it was easy to hear, but I was thankful that he was no longer living a lie and I was comforted by the fact that he felt good enough in his skin to show the world who he really was. It was my fear of the world's perception of him that worried me and how others in my family might react.

Thoughts???

Here is the clip from The View

Muslim Pussy

sorry for the vulgar verbage, but it was just too funny. Got it in an email this morning.

Friday humor (funny but true)

You know these never end good (Conversation with hubby part 6) I think

So I decided to go home for lunch today b/c hubby got home early. I was thinking, peace and quiet with no babies to care for, for an hour would be nice. Hubby was thinking of the song afternoon delight. So I used it to my advantage and had hubby make me my sandwich, followed by a request for ice cream...here is the conversation BEWARE it's a bit TMI..
you have been warned
Me : "Hunny, make me a small bowl of ice cream with lots of chocolate on top, please"
Hubby: "I'm not getting up to get you ice cream"
"Please" and I smile
"Okay if you sit on my ****"
'Sure, after you get my ice cream and I eat it"
"I want you to do with while eating your ice cream" and he giggles
"No I am going to eat my ice cream first then I will sit on you ****"
"No your not, I know you, you will trick me"
"No I won't, I promise"
"No pants on either, you have to sit on my **** with no pants!"
"I promise, just the way you want it"
He gets up to get my ice cream and just then the phone rings and I answer
'Elnora?" it's my mother in law
"Yeah what's up?"
"Ummm, you might want to tell Michael to turn off his cell phone, he just called the office and I could hear the two of you talking!" and she was holding back a big ole laugh
Michael had his phone in his pocket and he accidently somehow hit the call button, which it just so happened the last place he called was my office, and I just so happen to work with my mother in law....oh dear!

Don't Believe it! (Two posts in one)

I get emails from all over the place since Emma was born. Especially from toy stores. I don't mind b/c often I find a good deal or a really awesome toy. Today I got one from baby center for sale on toys for 3- 6 month olds. In my search I found this:

Organic Broccoli...
First of all, this doesn't look like Broccoli at first glance....second of all, who thought of that? Thirdly, Organic? what is so organic about it? forth..."What did you get your baby for Christmas?" "Oh I bought her Broccoli!!!
Come on now people... have we run out of ideas for toys that you are now selling stuffed animal carrots, eggplants, grapes, onions...and broccoli's that look like penises????
Now the really insane news!
I have avoided posting about Britney Spears, but this time I can't help it. Girl is F'ing nutz! Here is the headline:

click the pic for the link to the story.
Please say it ain't so.
Apparently, the father to be, music producer, JR Rotem has confirmed the pregnancy and says he's the baby daddy. Does this woman need to be having more children. Didn't she just fail a drug test last week????
God I hope that this headline is crap!

Turducken

Yes that is what I had for Thanksgiving, a Turducken.
What is a Turducken? One might ask....
A Turducken is a partially de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The name is a portmanteau of those ingredients: turkey, duck, and chicken. The cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are filled with, at the very least, a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture or sausage meat, although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird. Some recipes call for the turkey to be stuffed with a chicken which is then stuffed with a duckling

Well was it good?
NO ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! I WAS GIPPED OUT OF A THANKSGIVING TURKEY!!!!
Why? Because my brother wanted to try something new. My parents always give into him. He is the 'favorite' (I am being silly)
It tasted okay, but nothing could replace a good old fashioned home cooked turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. Sigh...woe is me.

The power of a handshake

Yesterday, hubby, the kids and I, were signed up as church greeters (yes I go to church bitches) :)
As I shook the hands of people going into the service I couldn't help but critique thier handshakes. I mean, I have a firm handshake. I think it gives me presence and let's you know that I am interested. Then there are those that extend their hand and it's like shaking hands with a cold dead fish. No grip, no firmness, no eye contact....nada....and you think...why even shake my hand.

I think that a good handshake is really important. Don't you?

A song of black friday

Today was Friday, and it was Black

As I drove down the pitch black street at 5 something a.m.... I slowly approached the lights that seemed so small in the distance. Every second they grew brighter and brighter...as I neared the mall my eyes widened and my jaw dropped....park? ...park where? It seemed like everyone and their mama was out shopping today. So I decide to skip the hustle and bustle of Sears and head over to Target, where the real sales were. I get to Target and there is a line that stretches down the street and around the building. Michael got called into work...so I had the children with me. And that was just the beginning of the nastiness.

Sing to the tune of Sleigh Ride (you can make it work)

Just hear those salvation army bells

Jing Jing Jinglin Too...

Come on it's lovely weather

for black friday shopping for you

Outside cars horns are beeping

and people screaming 'F* You"

you can call me crazy I love black Friday

shopping for you

Giddy up Giddy up giddy up let's go

don't say you don't know

grab your overpriced starbux and goo

giddy up giddy up igddy up it's grand

no It's really a grand

We're gliding along with the bitch of a black friday wonderland

Our cheeks are nice and rosy uncomfty and cozy are we

we're snuggled up together in crowd of shoppers you and me

let's take the path before us and scream a chorus or two

Come on let's ditch this shit I hate black friday shopping for you

Just to let you know, I was the better woman, and avoided any fights this season!

Ever watch an old kung foo movie???

Okay ecraig..how do you fix this one?



I thought I wasn't going to post till after the holiday...aaah..whateva!

Do you trust everything you eat? When eating out?

Awhile back, my brother Phil came to me and the following conversation took place...



"Hey did you hear the health dept shut down The Wall?"

"Naw, that's like my favorite Chinese place."

"I know, you like, eat there all the time don't you?"

"Yeah...do you know why they got shut down?"

Phil gets a smirk on his face and replies in a high pitch"Can you say 'woof woof'?"



I almost died...but barfing seemed like a quick solution.

Turns out the health dept sprung a unannounced check up on the joint and what did they find hanging in the freezer? Yup..little pup pups. The owner insisted it was for his own personal use, but the health dept. wasn't buying it.



Makes you wonder, can you really trust the people preparing your food when you eat out? After all you don't personally know them they were your mom or something. When working at Wendy's when I was a teenager, I had a friend who thought it was funny to lick the hamberger buns before putting the burgers on. Then we would both have a good laugh watching people eat them. If you saw the guy licking the burger buns...oh even the thought of it...I throw up in my mouth a little....

Thanksgiving Humor

Since this will be the last post until after the holiday...have a great Thanksgiving everyone.
Things I am thankful for
My beautiful children
My wonderful husband
My home
My family (even my crazy dogs)
My job in this unstable mortgage market
ALL OF MY BLOGGIE PALS!!!

Things to ponder

If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Why do we label underwear as a pair?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
If you don't repair your brakes right away should you make your horn louder?
Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
Do married people live longer than single people do or does it just seem longer?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have an s in it?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

The best musical of all time

It was my favorite film of all time. Yes folks, I was a Rocky Horror Picture junkie. I wish that I could say I had been to a Rocky Horror Picture Show, but never got the chance. They still run some of them, I hope to go one day. Do you know how many famous people were in that show?

Tim Curry, Susan Serandon, Barry Bostwick.....

It was so much fun to sing and dance to the Time Warp...

But nothing was better than Sweet Transvestite... Don't know what I mean....

Watch it, It kicks ass!

Can you believe that is Tim Curry?

I'm a Tauras...fits me to a tee!

The Taurean's characteristics are solidity, practicality, extreme determination and strength of will - no one will ever drive them, but they will willingly and loyally follow a leader they trust. They are stable, balanced, conservative good, law-abiding citizens and lovers of peace, possessing all the best qualities of the bourgeoisie. As they have a sense of material values and physical possessions, respect for property and a horror of falling into debt, they will do everything in their power to maintain the security of the status quo and be somewhat hostile to change.Mentally, they are keen-witted and practical more often than intellectual, but apt to become fixed in their opinions through their preference for following accepted and reliable patterns of experience. In the main, they are gentle, even tempered, good natured, modest and slow to anger, disliking quarreling and avoiding ill-feeling. If they are provoked, however, they can explode into violent outbursts of ferocious anger in which they seem to lose all self-control. Equally unexpected are their occasional sallies into humor and exhibitions of fun. I have to say that the characteristics above are mostly true, especially the one about the anger. I read my sign completely and it fits me to a tee...some sites though I really don't know where they come up with that shit. One site said a positive attribute was that I could stick large objects down my throat??? HUH? Not that I am denying that lovely fact, but come on now...does that really have anything to do with your sign, and is that really a personality trait...To read more about Me the Taurus click hereTo read about your sign, click below...I wanna know if they fit

Aries Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Aquarius Picses

See this is what happens (alabama no sex toy law)

Don't know what I am referring too? See previous post!!!

No dildos...gotta use banana's....
I hope the women in Alabama have fire insurance! LOL!

Vibrators Banned Alabama No Sex Toy Law

Mass Hysteria soon to follow!
In Alabama you can sell guns on a street corner, but you can't sell sex toys!!! If you violate the law, you can face up to a year in prison and a $10,000 fine, but if you sell a gun to a minor, that is a $500 fine.

This law was passed in 1998 originally, and was upheld yesterday in court.
Under this law, if you have more than one...you can be charged with intent to distribute. You can only have a personal massager if it doesn't look like a dildo.
You can cross state lines to buy them, but wouldn't you get charged with smuggling them in. So they don't ban the use of owning 'one', but you have to drive out of the state to get it. Alabama still sells shit like Viagra..and you can have a vibrator for medical reasons (like treating women for Hysteria back in the day)

"Alabama's Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act prohibits, among other things, the commercial distribution of 'any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs for any thing of pecuniary value.'"

They say that letting sex toy merchants in could open the door to legalization of undesirable sexual behavior such as prostitution. That seems like a far stretch. Buying sex toys for personal use is going to lead to prostitution??? Ridiculous. I think that is an infringement on my rights. The government is telling me I can't masterbate? nor can my husband and I have a little fun with batteries???

"Hysteria was thought to be a consequence of lack of sexual intercourse. For centuries hysteria was believed by many to lead to inflammation of the uterus, which necessitated the expulsion of fluids to prevent it from wandering away from its anatomical home and possibly suffocating the woman who housed it. Physicians ranging from Hippocrates to Freud believed they had to coax the wandering womb back to its proper place or size with "massage treatments." A description of such a treatment reads like a cross between a medical report and soft-core pornography. The Greek physician Galen (AD 129-c. 216) noted that:

"'Following the warmth of the remedies and arising from the touch of the genital organs required by the treatment, there followed twitchings...From that time on she was free of all the evil she felt.'"

So they created the vibrator.
I think Alabama..sooner or later, might have the streets overrun with Hysterical women (and men) screaming about the evils they are feeling with in "Oh Lord Save me!!! Cure the aching pains I feel and my wandering womb!!! "

Someone Save Me.........

That was the title of the email I got last night From my brother.

This was the email...(picture and all)

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow.

Its Veterans day...shouldn't I get the day off since I'm a veteran?

no?

ugh.

That made me sad. It's true. When we think of Veterans most times, we think Vietnam Vet...well what about today's Veterans? Do we think about them in our daily lives?

"Someone save me" was the title of his email. If my brother was out saving so many others for so long, you have to think.. who was there to save him and his fellow military? I wish I could say our President, but I really don't think so. I know the title of his email was in jest, save me from work...but I couldn't help but read a bit more into it.

If you put it into perspective, Military save...but really they are the end of the line. They know it, but do we as Americans know it? Do we really know the sacrifice they have made for our safety and the safety of the world itself? It's a shame that even knowing that simple fact, people are still less and less likely to sign up for a military job. Sooner or later, I think, the draft will come back. And all the military want...respect, security for them and their families, a place forever remembered, job security, health care, honour. What is so wrong with that? Especially since they are willing to give up their most precious commodity, their lives, for ours.

Whether or not you think the war is wrong or right, our military deserve remembrance. To me, they have earned their place in Heaven. More so than I ever will. I never had the balls to even consider a military job, and I begged my brothers not to join for my own selfish reasons.

This past week, Maryland's governor O'malley just passed the highest tax increase in the state's history. No one really knows where the money is going to go. I wonder if our military will receive any of it? Just a thought.

To all the Veterans out there...Thank you.

To my brother...Thank you....................................Thank You Jonathan.

Another racist bites the bust! (oops I mean dust)

Naw..in all seriousness....look at those things...like they are giant torpedos set, aimed and ready to fire! When you talk to the woman, how could you not look at her ta ta's? They are screaming at you "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!!!" Although I doubt they have to scream, they would probably smack you in the face if you weren't looking.

Oh goodness, so say you weren't looking where you are going and you accidently bumped into her pom poms (I bet it happens alot) you turn to say sorry and before you utter the words you can help but proclaim

"WHOA...Holy Shi**...GOOD GOOGLEY MOOGLEY!!!" Then you hold your head down in shame...and mutter "I mean, sorry for bumping you ma'am"

In case you don't know who the above are...That is Dog the bounty hunter and his bounty hunter wife. Dog just got exposed as a big ol' racist from his pissed off son. I mean it's a total shocker to me...they look so normal, so sweet, like upstanding citizens that make money off of tracking down criminals bashing their heads in before hoarding them off to jail. I bet after a long days work they go home all sweaty and bump uglies screaming to one another "Damn you hot peice of ass you turn me on beating the crap outta all those (insert racist term here)!!!!

More pics of the Dogs here

video post

was thinking about doing a YouTube video post. I would record myself and post it...anyone else up to the challenge?

Who's the cow now?

Okay, so this morning, I was humbled. I realized what a hoo haa I could be. I went to WaWa for gas and coffee this morning. I pulled up to the pump and would normally go in and prepay for the gas, buy my coffee and whatever else at the same time. This morning I decided to pay at the pump and then go in. So I am pumping gas and what happens?...someone pulls up behind me to use the pump when I am finished. I am thinking, "damnit, I should of prepaid inside..now I am going to have to move my car for this dumb bitch that parked behind me." I was sitting there stewing the entire time.
So I pumped, and moved my car, went inside to get my coffee and ordered some breakfast. When walking inside I see the woman get out of her car with her kid and start to walk inside to prepay for her gas and buy whatever else... I thought to myself , what a dumb broad.
I am pouring my coffee and up behind me I hear
"Exuse me"
I turn to see the woman, and I thought, shit she saw me roll my eyes at her "yes" I reply
"I was parked behind you at the pump..." (Oh shit here it comes)"and I noticed when you pulled away, you didn't put your gas cap back on"
shocked... I say "Oh, thank you so much, I never would have noticed"
and she said "yes, I was thinking, oh good she is pulling over and I can tell her about her cap, have a nice day!"
humbled I say "you have a nice day too...thank you so much!"

I can't believe I acted like that. Figures that would happen. Has something similar happened to you like that...you act like a bitch and the other person, totally oblivious, comes up and does something nice to you?

I feel like a total cow!

Bad Bad Ebayer calif143 (Read till the end y'all)

This is what I bought from ebay seller calif143

This is what was delivered to me

Do they look the same to you? Look close now.
First, it was supposed to be new. It didn't come in the original packaging which is okay, but then I realized, hey..this isn't the same item. This is the older version of the storytime theater. They don't sell the cartridges anymore. Then I tried it, it didn't focus, it was blurry and hard to read. I was very unhappy since it was supposed to be a gift for my son. I sent the seller an email..actually 3 in a row, letting her know the different things wrong with her listing. Telling her how disappointed I was and I wanted my money back. She refused by saying she sold the item according to it's description, which she got off of Toysrus.com...BUT she put down the item description for the wrong item, and pictured a different item then she sent. She also wrapped it up in her old towels. Why would I want my child playing with something that was wrapped in someones old scuzzy towels? Don't you wipe your ass with towels? She finally agreed to take it back if I overnighted it next day and she wouldn't refund my $15 shipping I paid her to get it. Unacceptable. So I would have to pay more than $20 to overnight it back to her???

We emailed back and forth back and forth and I finally retorted:

AGAIN you cow...the item pictured was not what you
sent. I sent you a pic of what you gave me. I sent
you 3 emails consecutively. Sooo sorry if they
weren't at the same time. I was upset. I got a
different item wrapped in your old scuzzy towels
that you have probably wiped your ass on...so don't
give me that crap.
I am not paying more $ to send it back to your
cheap ass. okay..I might as well have gone out and
bought a new one by the time I send it back to you.
The shipping would total more than what I paid for
it.
Stop emailing me now...go through pay pal or
ebay...b/c you suck at this ebay thing, and as a
person in general. Like I want my kid playing with
something that was wrapped in your old towels...I
don't who the hell you are or what kind of disease
you carry...but evidently it has effected your
brain.

I thought she might carry diseases b/c she gave me some sob story about how she works how many jobs as a nurse and blah blah blah..I really didn't care. Then she told me I was sick for writing her such an email and reported me to Ebays customer relations. This woman IS such a cow... I think you should tell her so, here is her email

california143@yahoo.com okay, so that's a little mean..what ever, she needs to refund my $. You don't have to email her..but I am not stopping you either. You didn't get it from here though.

tags: ebay ; seller ; bad ; storytime theater ; cow ;

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Just Kidding, just having fun with my new profile pic.

Click here to see how i had fun with photo shop.

The hooker Block

My DC radio station today is doing a song block about hookers.

Can you think of any?

Here are a few from todays hooker block.

Nicky by Prince

Wrong Way by Sublime

She's Craft by Beastie Boys

Thanks for the memories by Fall out Boys

And probably the most famous hooker song... Roxanne by The Police

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE LYRICS

That is a weird topic to write a song about...we should do our own song block about something weird to sing about. How about ...songs about feet? or is that too out there? You pic a topic.

Some Friday Humor

Parents, always check your child's homework.

Tater Tots Costume

This is the costume I made for my tater tot!

Sunrise

Here is a pic of that Sunrise I was telling ya'll about the other day. Just got around to posting it.
Pretty Cool huh? Looks like fire in the sky.

Happy Halloween

During a recent CNN poll, Clinton was voted the Spookiest Halloween Costume, if you had to choose between all the presidential cantidates. A close second was Guliani (oooh that was a shocker) Read the article here

So I want to have some fun. Lets see what I can do....

And Just to be Fair (Nicole)

Famous Quote edition 1

Wow, I think I like this guy now
The Terminator star, 60, told the British edition of GQ magazine that he had not taken drugs, even though he has acknowledged using marijuana in the 1970s and was shown smoking a joint in the 1977 documentary, Pumping Iron. What DID he say exactly that has the political world reeling? [Marijuana] is not a drug, it's a leaf.

Ha ha ha... I think that is hillarious! I never used to care about the Marijuana debate...I used to smoke it. Big deal, right? Why not make it legal...righ?
Naaah. I think it is one of those things that needs to stay illegal. #1 it's more fun that way...just kidding. All kidding aside though...do you know how many people smoke cigarettes while driving, and you think drunk driving is bad...wait until people are toking it up with some mary jane while sitting behind the wheel.

Man...I have officially crossed the 'old person' line.

Can you come?
I know how busy you all are and that you probably hate being invited to any home parties, but I assure you this is no ordinary home party. And to be honest, I've never had a party like this, and I need to update my kitchen gadgets. Pampered Chef has come out with new consultants and products that are fabulous.I have attached samples of the new home party products...

This sucks...

You would think I would learn by now. Always ask if your not sure...

Waiter...is there any MSG in your food? Waiter says yes or no, as simple as that. Did I do it ... no
POW!!!
Stomach churning in the middle of the night, night sweats, diareaha, gas, headache, can't sleep, every smell makes me vomit, burping up the cheap dinner I actually paid for.

Elnora...You are allergic to Mono Sodium Glumate...you think you would learn by now.

Too bad they don't have a pepto bismal for that

Tryphogetin

My First Time

How many times do we really 'Stop and smell the roses". Really...
Taste, touch, sight, smell.

The taste of a fresh picked strawberry at Maynes farm during the summer.
The touch of my husbands hand.
The smell of my newborn daughter.
The sight of a beautiful sunrise or sunset.

I was running so late this morning and ran outback to call the dogs inside. The breeze was blowing and all I could hear was the wind through the trees and before me the most beautiful sunrise. I had my coffee in my hand and just leaned on the deck and watched it, thinking, I have never come on my deck before and actually stopped to watch the sunrise. It was my first time appreciating something that has happened 365 days a year for the past two years.

I remember my first beautiful Sunset that I stopped to appreciate. It was 2 years ago in North Carolina. I saw it from the balcony of a house we were renting and ran to the water to take a picture of it. Here it is:


I hope you enjoy it and I hope that it encourages you to take advantage of the simple pleasures in life.
I took a picture of the sunrise and will post tonight. Come back and see it okay!

Personal post

I get this email today:
I know i told you i would be her godmother, and i remembered you asking me awhile ago when you were working on your will if anything happened to you guys would we want the children, i just dont feel comfortable saying yes. i hope you arent offended. I just am not comfortable with it. Im sorry.
Kelly

So I had asked Kelly, my husbands sister, to be the Godmother of our daughter, Emma. The role of a Godparent is to pray for the child. Guide the child and parents spiritually, to help the parents raise the child in faith. In many cases, parents feel that the connection between the child and Godparent, so important, they choose the Godparent to raise their children should anything happen to us if we pass.
Michael and I have not set our wills yet and were considering his sister and my sister for the role of raising our children in case of our unexpected deaths. I love my sister dearly, and I know that she would raise our children like her own, but she and I differ religously. So we were contimplating Kelly, who has our same parenting style and religous beliefs. for the most part.

I am in the middle of planning Emma's baptism and she sends me that email.
This is how I responded.
"An email is a very impersonal way to respond to such a personal request. Kelly, we were discussing our children, the most important things in our lives. I wish you would have come to me or Michael about it.
But I guess you can’t help the way you feel about it, so I will respect your wishes"

I mean we aren't talking about where our dogs are going to go, or who will take care of the fish!!!! I just sat behind my computer and cried.

The year 1907

I highlighted my favorite ones

THE YEAR 1907

Show this to your children and grandchildren ! THE YEAR 1907 This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1907. One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are some of the U.S. Statistics for the Year 1907 : ************************************
-The average life expectancy in the U.S. Was 47 years old.
-Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. Had a bathtub.
-Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
-A three-minute call from Denver to New York City Cost eleven dollars.
-There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.
-The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
-Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more Heavily populated than California. -With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st Most populous state in the Union. --The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
-The average wage in the U.S. Was 22 Cents per hour.
-The average U.S. Worker made between $200 and $400 per year .
-A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, A dentist made $2,500 per year, -A veterinarian $1,500 per year, And a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
-More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. Took place at HOME .
-Ninety percent of all U.S. Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which Were condemned in the press AND the government as "substandard."
-Sugar cost four cents a pound.
-Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
-Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
-Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo. ---Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from Entering into their country for any reason.
-Five leading causes of death in the U.S. Were: 1. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea 4. Heart disease 5. Stroke
-The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.
-The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!
-Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea Hadn't been invented yet.
-There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
-Two out of every 10 U.S. Adults couldn't read or write.
-Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
-Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over The counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists Said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, Regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian Of health."
-There were about 230 reported Murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

Just Try to imagine..... What it may be like ... In another 100 years !!!!!!! IT STAGGERS THE MIND !!!!!!!!!

Turn your phone off at the pump

I was pumping gas this morning about to make a phone call on my cell when I notice a sign that says 'warning, turn cell phones off at the pump'. I thought to myself "why, will it cause an explosion" I thought probably, that is the only reason they would have the warning. So I quickly tossed the phone into the car and sighed a breath of relief for the close call. Wouldn't want to blow myself up at the pump now would I?

So I wondered if there was truth to the warning and looked it up this morning. Here is what I found:
Warning: Cell phone use in gas stations
Cell Phones..... In case you do not know, there was an incident where a driver suffered burns and his car severely damaged when gasoline fumes ignited an explosion while he was talking on his mobile phone standing near the attendant who was pumping the gas. All the electronic devices in gas stations are protected with explosive containment devices, (intrinsically safe) while cell phones are not. READ YOUR HANDBOOK!

It also said this about your handy dandy portable talking device:
The news about cellular phones and public health just keeps on getting worse. Wired News reported the other day that cell phone emissions may cause genetic damage in humans and animals — the results of an industry-funded study. Those same emissions have been blamed by consumer groups for tumors, weakening of the immune system, increased blood pressure and memory loss.
No one quite knows what to make of a British study showing that people who are exposed to cell phone frequencies react to sensory stimuli faster than people who aren't. Is that good or bad?
Wired News also reports that cell phone emissions have been shown to cause nematode worm larvae to mature five percent faster than normal in laboratory experiments. That can't good, can it?
Not to be outdone by the press, Internet rumormongers are having a field day trumpeting cell phone warnings of a more incendiary kind. Email messages circulating since April 1999 warn that drivers who don't turn off their mobile phones while fueling their cars risk being blown to pieces in a gas vapor explosion.

China says US relations seriously damaged

Okay, so lets set the post below about China poisoning our children, aside.
China is now pissed at the United States for it's warm reception of the Dalai Lama, who wants independance for his home coutry. China is pissed that Bush welcomed the Dalai Lama with open arms and is honoring him with the Congressional Gold Medal.

Spokesman Liu warned Tuesday that Sino-US ties would be seriously damaged by the celebration of the Dalai Lama -- whom China accuses of wanting independence for his homeland -- and the state-run press on Wednesday kept up the pressure.

Okay, now lets go back to the post below, you know, about how China is trying to kill the American Child population. Now who is damaging the relations between our two countries. You sound like I did when I was 5 "Mommy, he hit me first!!!" My mother would put us both in time out, so I will offer up some advice for you , China, you big bully:

HEY CHINA, HERES A TIP FOR YOU>>>STOP TRYING TO MURDER OUR CHILDREN!!!!

Conspiracy theory

With all the children's toy recalls, I have found myself looking at the labels b4 I buy a toy. If it says made in China I am more likely to put it down. The question that many Americans are asking right now, is the China & abundance of lead paint in our toys, issue, a plot to harm American children. My first instinct is to say no b/c why would China want to lose that much export revenue. I am more inclined to think it is just poor standards. I have heard that other countries do not have specific guidelines for toys like choking hazards & lead paint, like America does..and if they do, they are not as strict. Now is that Americans being overly cautious, or is it in fact a necessity. When I think about the toys I buy my son, at first the lead paint issue didn't bother me so, b/c my son doesn't eat his toys any longer. But how many times have you seen a baby sucking on their older siblings toy car? So I went through my sons toys and pulled out the cars movie recalls, the Thomas Train recalls, and the Elmo toy recalls.
We can look on the bright side, now is the time to start advertising the American Made companies. I just got an email this morning from Little Tykes, and I think that they are the first to start a national "American Made" campaign resulting from the China recalls. And I bet they are making a nice buck or too off it.

Here is the big Ole' email banner I got from Little Tykes this morning.


Now thats advertising!

Conversation with hubby Part 4 (I'm not making this up)

Okay, so I am taking a real chance here...you might hate me for life, but I just have to tell.
So hubby and I were in the drive thru of Starbucks and he starts stroking my face. I turn and see he is stroking my face with money. I was like... dude, do you know how dirty money is? and the conversation goes:

"Oh whatever"
"Yeah but think of how many people's hands have touched it over the thrity years it's been around."
"It's not like people rub their balls on it"
I started laughing and said "I dare you"
"Dare me what"
"Rub your balls with it and give it to the cashier"
Hubby then rubs the money in his crotch area and I stopped him and said "NO...I mean really rub it, you know on the bare balls"
Hubby unzips and sticks the bills down his pants...and got way too into it. Then the cars started moving.
The cashier sticks his head out the window "$3.92...hubby hands him the money....Thanks have a great day" the guys says.
I am in the car about to piss my pants I am laughing so hard.
Mike smiles to the guy.. "Hey man, you have a great day too!"
And we drive off.

I wonder if the car behind us got our change with his coffee and muffin?

Sorry guys...I had to share, it was just one of those things that brought you back to your highschool days.

What the flippity F***? )(@)&#&%&(&#@!!!!

Former Vice President, and Democrat, was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. He won it jointly with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

Is that a politacal statement or what?

"Awarding it to Al Gore cannot be seen as anything other than a political statement. Awarding it to the IPCC is well-founded," said Bjorn Lomborg, author of "The Skeptical Environmentalist."
He criticized Gore's film as having "some very obvious mistakes, like the argument that we're going to see six meters of sea-level rise," he said.
"They (Nobel committee) have a unique platform in getting people's attention on this issue, and I regret they have used it to make a political statement."

What's a little oily gas for a slim figure

I was looking into the new ALLI weight loss pill that is the first FDA approved over the counter weight loss pill. It is supposed to be a big break through and people lose tons...but it doesn't come without it's price.

Here is the part of the warning:

*alli capsules work by preventing the absorption of some of the fat you eat. The fat passes out of your body so you may have bowel changes.

You may get:
*gas with oily spotting
*loose stools
*more frequent stools that may be hard to control

eating a low-fat diet lowers the chance of having these bowel changes

The ALLI book also warns "You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work." ...you know, just in case you shit yourself.

Sounds like the weightloss plan for me.